It's Always Been You

14

Ethan's POV 

"Come on, you can do it," I encourage Alex to take a couple of steps forward. 

It's been several weeks since they woke him up from the coma. It's been a long couple of weeks with Alex trying to sit up in his bed. Once he could do that, they decided it would be good for him to try walking. The doctor still wasn't sure if he would be able to, but he said trying wouldn't hurt anything. 

I have his hands in a death grip and his nurse has her hands gripping his waist, supporting his upper half. I look up in his eyes, watching his eyebrows scrunch up in pain. It hurts me to see him like this. Maybe, it would have been better if he died. He wouldn't be in so much pain right now if he had. I shake the terrible thoughts out of my head, he's alive and breathing, that's all that should matter. 

He grips my hands harder as he tries to lift his left foot off the ground. Several grunts escape his mouth as he just ends up scooting his foot forward. 

"Good job, just being able to move your leg is a great step in the right direction." The nurse smiles at me. 

I admire her ability to give Alex some encouragement, I could never do it. I'm not the type of guy to express my feelings. Alex rolls his eyes, and I can see him struggling to stay standing. 

"Let's try the right leg before laying back down." 

Alex looks like he's about to pass out, his face white as a sheet of paper. He bites his bottom lip as he struggles to scoot his right foot forward. The metal bar is still in his leg and he can't put much pressure on it so the nurse has her hands on his waist, lifting a lot of the pressure off his leg. 

He lets out a loud breath as she helps him back down on the pillows. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it must be with that huge back brace on him, but he always seems to look like it doesn't bother him. He lays his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes. I can see the sweat across his forehead. 

"I'll be back later to check up on him," she informs me before leaving. I watch her brown hair sweep across her back as she walks out of the door. Her milky brown eyes go well with the caring look she gives Alex. 

"You're drooling," Alex interrupts from the bed. 

I wipe my hand across the edge of my lips, "No, I'm not." 

He lets out a light laugh, immediately regretting it. His face scrunches up in pain and I move quickly to his side. He holds up a hand to me, "I'm fine." 

I take a few steps backward, knowing not to get him worked up. Last week when I had tried to get him to eat the pudding, he threw it at my head. Pain does not go well with his emotions. He notices me backing up and arches one of his eyebrows. 

"You're afraid of me." 

I shake my head, "No, I just don't want to be assaulted by a pudding cup again." 

He smiles at me. "Come on, you deserved that." 

"Really," I sink into the chair beside his bed. "How is that?" 

"I didn't want to eat the pudding and you kept annoying me about it." 

"You hadn't eaten for days, I was just trying to take care of you." 

"I don't need your help," his words come out harsher than I expected. 

I look at him, shocked. 

"You need to get some rest," I interject before he can say he was sorry. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out." 

"You never do," I mumble. 

He hears my words, and I immediately regret saying them. 

"What does that mean?" 

I look at him, trying to choose my next words carefully. "Look right now isn't the time to talk about this." 

He stares back at me, "No, I want to know." 

I release an annoyed sigh. "Fine, you never do anything wrong according to you, but the moment I do something wrong you act like I never existed." 

He cocks his head sideways, a hateful stare on his face. "You used me, what did you expect me to do? Run back into your arms, I'm not that stupid." 

"I expected you to hear me out like couples should do, but you kept running away from me each time I tried to." I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks. "Look, I am so sorry that I did that to you, but I told you it was never supposed to go that far." 

He raises a little with his next words, "Did you expect to fuck me and then leave? Was that your plan all along?" 

My head falls into my hands, rubbing my eyes roughly. "Yes," I look back at him. 

The realization of what I just said hits me. I just did exactly what his father told me I would do. His mouth goes open, and his eyes give me the same look when I told him about the dare. The look of a stranger. 

"Get out," he yells at me.

I open my mouth to apologize. "Get out!"

He moves his head towards the wall that way he doesn't have to look at me. I get up from the chair, silently cursing myself for my big mouth. My eyes look at him before I leave the room. 

"I'm sorry." 

He moves his head to the other side, ignoring me. I hang my head, walking out. Everything was going fine before I had to go and ruin it once again. Some part of me was saying that this relationship wasn't worth all the pain, but how can I leave the person that I love? Ugh, why do relationships have to be so complicated? 

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