It's Always Been You

5

Ethan's POV

It was several hours before Alex stopped crying enough to fall asleep. I could feel his warm breath against my chest as I laid there with him in my arms. How could a father abandon his own son? I kept asking myself that over and over again.

A shadow in my door blocked the light coming from the hallway. I looked up to see my dad standing there, not saying a word as he looked at Alex asleep on my chest. He looked up at me and I couldn't tell if he wanted to chew me out or take me in his arms.

"We need to talk," is all he said before leaving the room.

I gently moved Alex off me, making sure to not wake him up. The sound of him moving makes me stop moving abruptly. I look down at him, my muscles relaxing at the sight of the pout forming on his face. Whatever he was dreaming about he wasn't happy with it. I just hope he wasn't dreaming about what happened.

My socks thudded against the hardwood stairs softly. I made my way into the cozy living room, looking up to see my parents seating beside each other on the brown leather couch. I cocked my head sideways, confused. They looked like they were getting ready to tell me my dog died. Which would be terrible if it was actually true. I took a seat in the open recliner beside the tv. 

"How long?" my dad broke the silence. 

I rolled my head back, knowing that this was bound to happen after this evening. 

"Don't start with that, okay." I bring my eyes to his. "We're just trying to understand all of this." 

My hands are getting sweaty and I rub them against my jeans. I let out a sigh, "I just met him today." 

"Have you all done..." 

I bring my hands up to my eyes, putting my head back again. "God, no!" 

My dad puts up his hands, "I was just wondering." 

"No dad, we haven't done anything like what you're thinking." I let out another sigh, as I prepared myself to tell them everything I've been hiding. 

"I'm gay. I have been for years now, and I don't know when it happened but it did. My first crush was Lucas...." saying his name aloud made all the memories rush back into my head. I could feel my chest tightening up, the tears threatening to fall. I release a shaky breath, trying to hold myself together. "My first crush was Lucas during freshman year. I knew something was different when I met him at basketball tryouts. It was just the way his lips turned up during the game that made my stomach get all messed up. Something in me changed that day, I don't know what it was, but I could feel that something was different." 

I stopped talking as that day flooded my mind. The cold rain slapping our cheeks and that look of pure disgust filling his face when I told him. The warm feeling of hands on mine brings me back to the present. My parents were looking at me, telling me that it was okay. I gave them a small smile. 

"It was the first game of the season, I spent that whole game on the sidelines watching him play. I was trying to figure out whether to tell him or not when he came running over to me. He leans in and I'm thinking he's going to kiss me but he just asks if we could talk. I asked where and he looked around. After finding no private place, he just tells me to follow him. Of course, I follow him out into the rain..." It was getting hard to talk. "I followed him out into the rain. He started talking about some girl called Emily, I was confused as to why he was talking to me about this girl. Then he asks me if I could you know get her number for him since we were lab partners. My heart was crushed when I heard him say those words," my hands are clenched into fists as I explain what happened next, "I knew that it was a stupid move, especially after he just confessed that he liked a girl. I kissed him on the lips while the rain poured down beside us. He seemed like he was enjoying it..." tears are rolling down my cheeks, "u...un...until he shoves me off him. He starts screaming at me about how I was psychotic and messed up in the head. You should have seen the look of pure disgust on his face." The tears were falling hard now. My mother moved from her position on the couch and sat down beside me. She pulls me into her, giving me a kiss on the forehead. 

I stay there for a while in her arms allowing the tears to pass. When I finally pull apart from her its dark outside. I rub my arm underneath my eyes, removing the tears. 

"I should get dinner started," my mother says as she gets up. I watch her leave the room, wondering if I just ruined our relationship. 

"Ethan," I had almost forgotten that my dad was still there. 

I look over at him. His eyes were red as he gave me a loving look. "Yeah." 

"You know that we love you." 

I nod my head, not able to say any words right now. 

"Nothing will ever change that." 

I give him a small smile, "Thanks." 

Alex's voice coming from the kitchen draws my attention. I get up from my seat, wiping my eyes to make sure the tears are gone. My moms tending to something on the stove as she makes a small conversation with Alex. I take in his puffy eyes, wondering if he got any sleep at all. My eyes take notice that he's changed into some of my clothes. A pair of black sweatpants are tied tightly around his waist while one of my hoodies covers his top half. He notices me standing in the doorway and gives me a smile. I smile back as I look at his messy hair. No one else could look so hot when they're a total mess like Alex does. 

I move to rest my head in the dip of his shoulder, giving him a kiss on the neck. He moves his head a little to the sides allowing me some more room. My arms wrap around his waist and he takes my hands into his. 

"So, Alex what are you planning on doing after you graduate? Ethans wanting to become a doctor," my mother asks while she puts the chicken on plates. 

"I was thinking of teaching," he replies. 

Mr. Alex. Yeah, I could totally get used to that. My mother gives him one of her warm smiles. The pain of Alex's parents rejecting him comes into my mind and all I can say is that I'm grateful that my parents didn't react like that.

I looked around the room, taking in the sight of my parents smiling and talking with Alex. See this is how everything should be. With Alex in my arms, nothing could go wrong.