Losing My Way (A Brian May fanfiction)

Sympathy For The Devil

"Would you stop it!" I pried Diana's hands away from her face. She'd been trying her best to suppress her laughter, but had broken down after I finished telling my story.

"I'm- oh god, I'm so sorry," Diana wheezed. "It's just... you- oh my god." She broke down into another laughing fit.

"Diana!" My face has probably gone as red as a tomato. It took a lot to recount the memory of what happened in Brian's car- much less put it into words for another person to hear, and Diana's reaction is only making me feel worse.

"Okay, I'm sorry." She composed herself for a mere moment before starting up again. "It's just- I have so many questions."

I took a deep, irritated breath. "Ask away."

"Okay, one- why didn't you take off your fucking knickers? I mean, that's just a bit odd. And two- why the hell did you run away afterwards?"

"Well I wasn't trying to... y'know," I lowered my voice. "Have proper sex with him."

"Oh doll," Diana gave me a pitiful look. "Are you going to call him? I bet we could find a way to get you both alone together again."

"Of course not!" My voice rose to a hysterical pitch, before I remembered we were still in our school cafeteria. "I can't see him again. I need to erase him from my mind, quickly, and permanently."

Diana's signature smirk of mischief flashed on her face for a moment.

"What?" I complained.

"Nothing..." she quickly straightened up.

"What Diana?" I repeated.

"You want to shag himmmm." She sang, just loud enough for me to hear.

"I do not!" I whined. "I don't even know him!"

"So? It doesn't mean you can't be attracted to him."

I had no argument for that. I suppose it was a bit hypocritical of me to feel guilty over my attraction toward Brian- considering the only men I'd ever thought of sexually were all strangers to me. But still, something about it felt worse considering there was actually a real possibility for things to have lead to sex between us that night.

"You reckon he's got a big willy?" Diana just couldn't help herself. "He's basically a giant, so it's probably massive."

I opened my mouth to tell her to stop, but luckily the bell rang, ending our lunch time and saving me from any more images Diana could plant in my mind.

While we headed to class, I couldn't help but reach into my bag, letting the tips of my fingers graze over a piece of paper inside. I could have thrown it away- in fact I should have. But there was something inside of me that was stopping me from doing so.

•••

"Knowing these things will help you be a good wife someday." My mom said, keeping an eye on me while I seasoned a raw chicken. She had recently taken to teaching me how to cook after I had badly burned a batch of cookies for our church's bake sale.

"Before you put it in the oven, make sure to stuff the cavity with the rosemary, garlic and this lemon." My mother reminded me. "I have to go freshen up before your father gets home."

After my mother left the kitchen I felt like I could finally breathe again. Even though I know it's impossible, sometimes I feel like she can tell when I'm thinking bad thoughts.

Cooking dinners this week had been a decent thing to get my mind off of the still fresh memory of Brian's body, but I felt almost like this chicken was mocking me- with its open legs, and gaping bottom.

I began stuffing the chicken's hole with all of the things meant to go in, saving the lemon for last. Then I slid the big pan into the preheated oven. As this was happening, the telephone started to ring.

I couldn't get to it right away, because I still had greasy chicken hands, but soon after it stopped ringing, it started back up with another call. With my hands now clean, I made a move to answer it, but could scarcely get a grip on the phone before my mother snuck back around the corner, snatching it straight from my hand.

"Hello?" My mother paused, listening to the line before her piercing eyes shifted my way, indicating that the call was meant for me.

My heart dropped. It can't be.

I'm going to be in so much trouble.

This is it. This is how I die.

"Oh hi Diana! So lovely to hear from you-"

I've never been more relieved in my life. For a second I had thought Brian somehow found our house number.

"Well I'm not so sure... what's the occasion? We were just about to have dinner."

I furrowed my brow. What is Diana saying to her?

"My goodness, I had no idea! Nancy never mentioned it to me." My mother shot me a glare.

Great! Did Diana call just to make my mom mad at me? I would roll my eyes if my mother wasn't still watching me.

"Yes that'll be fine. I'll drop her off after we eat! Oh- I'm so sorry, did you want to speak to her?" My mother paused again.

Maybe she could've already been speaking to me if the phone wasn't torn from my hand, I thought.

"Yes, of course. Listen, tell your Ma to give me a ring one of these days, I haven't heard from her for ages." My mom said her goodbyes to Diana and finally forks over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Nance! Is your mum still there with you?" Diana squeals through the receiver.

"No." I say just as my mom returns to her bedroom. "What was all that about? Where is this mystery place I'm going to?"

"We're going to a gig of course!" Diana revealed.

"Wait... what?" I whispered, absolutely stunned. "You asked my mom if I could go to a show and she said yes?"

"Well no, it's my Nan's 80th birthday party tonight so we have to hang around my place for that first." She told me. "But afterwards we're making a break for it. It starts at ten so we have plenty of time."

"Ten? Di, I can't stay out all night, my mom will never believe your Nan's party is that long."

"You actually can." I could practically hear her smile through the phone. "Because you're sleeping over."

"She agreed to that?" I marveled. It always amazed me how much my parents trusted Diana and her family.

"Christ, Nance you're eighteen. Don't tell me this is your first sleepover." Diana scoffed.

"Of course it isn't," I lied.

"Right, well go and pack your shit up!"

"Okay, if you insist." I laughed, just before a realization washed over me. "Wait..."

"What?"

"Who's playing tonight?" I asked, hoping my friend had enough sense not to do what I'm suspecting.

"It's a surprise," Diana sang into the phone.

"Diana please tell me it's not Queen," I couldn't even disguise the fear in my voice.

"It's not!"

"You swear?"

"Nancy, I swear on my life,  my soul, and everything beautiful in the world, that we are not going to see Queen play tonight." Diana assured me.

Something still felt suspicious about her not telling me every single detail of what our night will consist of- as that's something she usually enjoys- but I felt compelled to trust her.

"So are you in or what? She asked.

"I'm in."

Diana wouldn't lie to me, right?