Loathing {John Mulaney x reader}

Seven

This chapter contains smut, so you could skip it if you like

(Y/n) tapped her cigarette on the open window of John's car. She sighed as she listened to him ramble on about wanting a beard. Sure, the pros were nice, but she didn't really want him to grow one. But she already gave him her unwavering support, and she would keep it that way. Her cigarette was almost out by now, so she took one last drag and flicked it out the window.

"I'm just saying, it would be kind of nice to see what I'd look like with a beard." John too had finished his cigarette before he looked over at his girlfriend to persuade her into letting him grow a beard.

"John I told you already, I'm supporting your beard." Of course, she wasn't fully lying. She did want to see him with a bit of hair on his face. Maybe it'd be attractive on him. Who knew? She craved the window up and set her hand on John's thigh. "I love you, John."

John smiled at her and replied: "I love you too." John continued smiling and turned his face back to the road. "So, how do you feel about staying in all night if we're going to get drunk?" (Y/n) thought for a moment, then replied back to him.

"That sounds good. I don't want any drunk driving accidents." They were another block or so from John's house, and it wouldn't be long before they were in on the couch, drinking. (Y/n) now would only drink with people she fully trusted, after throwing up violently at her mother's house, because she went drinking with an unfamiliar group of people. Thankfully, she could trust John.

"And you don't have work tomorrow?"

"Nope."

"Well that's just great, we have nothing to worry about then." John pulled up in front of his house and shut the car off. The couple got out of the car and found themselves in the house in no time. The two were standing in the kitchen as John pulled down a couple of whiskey glasses and wine glasses. "Whiskey first, and then wine later on?" John asked.

"Of course." (Y/n) kissed John on the cheek before heading out to the couch. She knew John would pour the whiskey for her, so she just waited silently. Her head perked up when she heard John walking to the living room with two shot glasses full of whiskey. John handed her one and sat down next to her, before leaning his head on her shoulder momentarily. He took a swig of his whiskey and looked over at (Y/n) as she drank hers.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" John leaned over and kissed her, enjoying the light smell of cigarettes from earlier. (Y/n) kissed back momentarily, before pulling away to take another drink of her whiskey. John gave her a strange look, almost daring her to chug it. So she gave him a saucy look as she spoke.

"Oh? Do you want me to chug this whiskey?" Her eyes were half-lidded, and she was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol.

"I don't think you can sweetheart. Would you like to show me?" John watched her as she laughed and started chugging her whiskey. It was no time before the glass was completely empty.

"Still think I can't?" She asked as John as he took the last swig of his drink. He was more than tipsy now. Instead of replying, John leaned over and pulled her into a passionate kiss. (Y/n) kissed back, resting her hand upon his cheek. The kiss started becoming more and more passionate, and John pushed her down onto the couch. He could hardly control his hands as they wandered her body, feeling her own glide up his chest.

John's hand pulled the base of her shirt before getting impatient and sliding it up to her bra. His hand squeezed her breast, as he glided his tongue over her top lip, asking for permission to enter her mouth. (Y/n) was more than willing to open her mouth for him, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer.