HELP ME

I CLOSED THE DOOR

I have to admit the space is nice,

not having to talk about my life

or look people in the eye when

I need to cry,

I just want to be myself without

someone telling how I should be,

I feel too naked around a big crowd

why everyone looks down on me

because I won't let them live-out

my dreams,

I just want to hide behind

Run with the wind were every one

Stop looking at all the scars and

Pains that they all given to me,

I want to run free from all of this mess

I've made a nice big bed of lies

my mother always said,

though of emptiness and lost dreams

came from family,

honestly, I want to make them all live

me alone and let me live my own life

let them live theirs,

I don't want to speak to you don't be

so confused you know what you all do

Is lie give so much shame and blame

of the mess you all made,

then you come home and try to still

at my soul another time with your nasty lies

you made in the night,

there's nothing to say,

so getaway I will no longer let you shame

my name and give me all your blame

I want to live my own life so give it back,

when it was once too hard for me to say No

I when to say yes for all my dreams to come true

without you living my life for me,

move on and set me free,

It's too easy to fall back in the trap they all set out

for me to fall in, back into an old way

who are you to tell me what to do,

I am the one that made you look good,

move on I'm already out the door,

I must remind myself of all the reasons

for letting go and moving on,

in my weaker moments, I cry out to my God

I keep knocking on his door,

I can't keep myself looking back at

all the pain everyone

I trusted given me,

looking back, hoping to find something good

I may have left behind all

I found was hopeless

emptiness and so much pain,

dyeing out in the cold rain,

I'm still holding on to me and my own name

I don't know why everyone had done this

to me but no more;

the door is closed behind me

I set my life on happiness.

-Judy Emery © 1990 The Queen Of Darken Dreams Poetic Lilly Emery.