As soon as I hung up, I turned my phone off and continued crying. I can't believe this. I can't believe that he would do this to me. He was.. He was perfect. We were okay. We had arguments but we always did our best to fix those. I don't understand. I don't know where I went wrong. I don't know why he had to do this to me. I never thought I would feel such pain until this happened. I don't know why but this.. this just sucks. I hate this. I hate him.
I looked at my phone and sighed. I want to talk to him again. I want to hear his voice but I can't. I know I can't.
I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh again when suddenly the door opened. "Hey— oh my gosh." I slowly opened my eyes and saw Roni. When she saw my eyes full of tears she immediately dropped her bag on the floor and went straight to me. "Hey Nessa. Please stop crying," she said and started rubbing my back to comfort me. "We're leaving in 30 minutes. You still have time to talk to him, you know?" I looked at her and shook my head.
"W-we already did."
"Oh? so.. what happened?" she faced me and started fixing my hair. "Oh look at you, you look ugly. You don't like it when you don't look good when we're travelling, right?" she said, cheering me up. I chuckled and stood up. "That's it! Wea that beautiful smile. A Vanessa Merrell wouldn't let a guy take away her beautiful smile, right?"
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Roni." I went to the mirror and looked at myself. I do look ugly. I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. I fixed my outfit and put light makeup so it wouldn't be too obvious that I was crying. "Let's go." I said and took my things.
-*-
I looked at my phone while waiting. I smiled bitterly when I saw that my lockscreen is still a pic of me amd Grayson. I'm going to change this as soon as I leave this country.
I was about to cry once more when Roni showed up and told me that we have to go. I sighed and nodded.
Inside the airplain, I sat down near the window. Looking at the clouds, I smiled. I took out my diary and a pen from my small bag and started writing on it.
I am thankful because I met a guy like him. I am thankful because I felt love and happiness when we were together. I am thankful because I had Grayson with me before. Thank you Grayson... for making me feel love and pain at the same time. Thank you for everything. I hope you'll be a great father and I hope you'll have a happy and long life with your family. Take care, I love you.
Tears started rolling on my face again as I closed my dairy and placed it inside my bag.
I then closed my eyes and brushed off my thoughts and let myself sleep.
Goodbye, Grayson.
