You'll Never Get To Heaven (if you're scared of getting high)

We were meant to be as one

So we are finally here at the happy ending. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy the final chapter.

Title from Kylie's (of course) "Love at First Sight."

 I didn't know just what to do,

Then there was you.

And everything went from wrong to right

And the stars came out and filled up the sky<br />

...it was love at first sight.

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 Thank you to Daemonia for beta reading this chapter, and my Wattpad fam for your constant encouragement and support. Love you guys more than you will ever know.

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Crowley detested weddings. Fortunately, he didn't get invited to many, especially as any religious content risked setting him on fire.

There were things that amused him about contemporary weddings: the sheer egotism and selfishness of a bride manically set on My Special Day, bitterness and family quarrels and keeping up with The Joneses, drunkenness and bad decisions, fights about religion or lack thereof, and so much opportunity for participants to either sin and sin hard, or set themselves up with filthy tempers that would leak evil like an oil spill for weeks or, with any luck, years. The sound of a weepy "And she knew we were already planning our wedding, and she stole all my attention" was music to his not actually pointed ears.

You could keep all that celebration of love stuff, though.

Unless it was his wedding and a metaphorical finger in the air to all the hosts of Heaven and Hell that had been in the way of claiming his angel, a big "Haha, he loves me and you can't stop him" at them all.

He hadn't figured in what Heaven and Hell were actually like, and one of the worst features of weddings.

Speeches.

There were seven Princes of Hell, all eager for their moment of glory. There were seven Archangels, all determined not to be outshone or outspoken. And apparently, Daniel and Dagon had elected themselves wedding planners and EmCees, which meant that a wedding obsessed angel and the Master of Torments were milking it for all it was worth. Every time Crowley struggled to suppress a yawn, he saw Dagon glimmering toothily at him. Bitch.

It had been fun for a while watching angels discover how really, really nice it was to corrupt their bodies with mortal food containing a lot of sugar, but it wore off fast. None of them enjoyed it in the same way Aziraphale did.

He wondered if anyone would notice if he dragged Aziraphale off to make out instead. Probably. But after all, wasn't it his Special Day?

"And while we are striving towards a positive future, working together in the service of the Ineffable Plan, our minions have shown us the example by extending hands across the Earth, to work together to determine humanity's future and guide them with a loving but firm hand--" Gabriel had been going on for a good thirty minutes, and this was his first pause, to look approvingly at Sandalphon, seated by Crowley's side at the reception table.

Crowley remembered some things Aziraphale had mentioned about Sandalphon being a bit heavy on the smiting and a favourite of Gabriel and felt a little worry under his heady mixture of ecstasy and boredom. Sodom and Gommorah were a long time ago, but if Heaven and Hell were getting all snuggly together against the humans, then--well, some things didn't bear thinking about. Some things shouldn't be allowed to happen again.