Poetry Journal

I want-

I want to feel love,

but im too afraid to ask for it,

I want reassurance, 

but I decline when people offer. 

I wish to be likable, 

yet I allow myself to only posses bad qualities. 

I wish to be pretty, 

yet I do nothing to try and assist my appearance. 

I try my best,

but it's never good enough. 

I give all the love I have, 

But it will never be ample. 

I try to make you proud, 

but it never works,

 you mock me and use me as an example. 

I desired to be plenty, 

but ill never be. 

I just wish people would like me. 

I crave the attention.

I want to be wanted.

I wish the effort I put into things came back out to aid me. 

I always prayed I wouldn't be afraid, 

and yet here I am. 

once again, 

terrified, 

unjustified, 

unwanted. 

The way I've always been. 

Im finally feeling how little im worth. 

And, God, I didn't realize how much this would hurt. 

falling in and out of reality. 

never had so much duality while containing neutrality. 

Not one time did I realize that it was with the devil that I flirt. 

or that it was strands of my own skin used to braid 

a cast for the relationship between you and I,

 which had become frayed. 

                                                   Ariah Christman