DomKat: We are soulmates. ✨❤️❤️❤️✨

11. Secret Love

Kat's POV

Flashback

I woke up before Dom. I really needed to get up and use the bathroom but she is peacefully sleeping literally on top of me. "Aaaaahhh. I really love and cannot contain the calmness and peacefulness it gives me. I won't get tired of this, waking up next to her every waking day of my life." I thought. I can't help but to smile. I wrapped my arms more tighter around her, enjoying the remaining minutes I've got to spend with her before I leave and face the real world and situation ahead of us. After a few minutes, as much as I wanted and love to stay with her, I can't hold my need to use the bathroom any longer. I carefully and slowly moved her away from her, hoping it won't wake her. I stayed for a bit, making sure Dom was still asleep. I slowly got up and went to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth. I went back to the room and found Dom was still asleep. I didn't want to leave her alone sleeping but it's time for me to go home. I can send her an imessage and explain everything to her but I preferred to write her a love letter. My first ever love letter IRL to the love of my life. I searched for a pen and paper and wrote down everything what was inside my heart and soul. I gazed at her in between writing. When I finished my love letter, I put it on the side table and gave Dom one long gaze and told myself, "How can a human be so pure and beautiful inside and out? I must have done something really damn great deeds in my past life to have her in my life in this lifetime. I love you Dominique, very much and I will do and give everything I have and I can to love and protect you at all cost." I gave one last kiss on her forehead and whispered to her,"Thank you, baby. I love you, baby. Please wait for me, baby" before I left her and went back to my room.

Present

I sent Dom an imessage before I entered my home to let her know I arrived home safe and sound. I released a very long sigh and told myself, "This is it, Katherine. No matter what happens, you need to be strong and true to yourself."

I entered the house and Bernie welcomed me with soo much love, joy and happiness. We played in the living room and put onto him very special gifts he received from one of his BernieBarretti fans this past weekend. Oh my God, I really love and missed my boi so much. We were still playing on the couch when Ray came from behind and gave me a hug and kissed the top of my head and said, "I missed you, honey. How are you? and look at you there, Bernie. You're such a cutie boi." He spoke to Bernie in French and made a video of it. He knew that I love to hear people speaking in French. Yes, I do love it, I find it sexy especially if it's Dom who's doing it. I giggled when he talked to Bernie not because I found him sexy but I loved Bernie's reaction to him speaking in French. I posted it on my Insta account. I know Dom won't mind seeing it because she also loves Bernie a lot. After a couple of hours, I received an imessage notification from Dom.

My baby angel: Hello my best baby! 💗💞 Why didn't you wake me up before you left me alone in my room. 😔😭 I'm just kidding.✌️😅❤️ I'm happy to know you're home safe and sound. I'm almost home babe. Hey, I saw your post of Bernie. Omg, he is so adorable. 🐕🐾❤️ I really missed him. Can you please give him a hug and a kiss for me, babe? 🙏😘🤗
And uuhhmmm.. I got your love letter but I haven't read it yet, will do when I'm home. Thank you for that, my love. I'm excited!! iiihhhh...😂😜
Well, I know we'll be both busy in the coming days and weeks but can't wait to see you again. I missed you already babe. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the memories we've shared this past weekend. Thank you for being you. I don't need to say it but I know you feel it in your heart and soul. Whenever you miss me, just close your eyes and feel me in your heart and soul. I'll be there to Lift Your Spirit Up and I'll do the same. Take care always my baby. We can do this babe. See you soon. God bless us! Your 🦄 to your 🌈. 🙏✨🦋💞

I can't help myself but to close my eyes, feel Dom inside of me and smile whilst thinking about her, about us.

Little did I know, Ray was already in front of me looking at me intently. I only realised when he said, "What makes my wife flustered and happy? Care to share?" "I just received a message from Dom to let me know she's home now and she saw my post about Bernie, is all," I replied. "Oh.. It looks like both of you really had a great time together this past weekend, as always," he said sarcastically. I was thinking to rant at him but I chose to calm down and just told him, "Yeah Ray, we had the great weekend together, as always. And to be honest, I kinda missing it. Are you happy now?" before I went to our room and unpack my luggages. He followed me to our room and started to rant. I just sad on the couch and let him continue his rants. "Is there anything that you want to tell me, Kat? Yesterday, when I called you, you said you wanted to us to talk. What is it? Are you going to finally admit that you are in love with your bestfriend or should I say, secret love, Dominique, huh, Katherine? Tell me!!! Because I'm sick and tired of listening to your excuses about your friendship with her. I'm already done competing with her." He said on top of his lungs. I just looked at him and said,"You want to know the truth, Ray? Yes. I have, I am and will always be in love with Dominique. It has always been her from the moment I laid my eyes on her. " I didn't realize I started to cry my balls out. "I knew it. I don't get it, Katherine. Why did you choose to marry me if you're in love with her in the first place? Why? Did you ever love me, Kat?" He asked. "To answer your question if I ever you, yes I did and I still do but I want to be honest with you. I still love you but I can't imagine or picture out myself spending my lifetime with you. I chose to accept your marriage proposal because I knew in my heart that I did love you, you are bestfriend and marrying you was the right thing to do back then. You are aware of my sexual preference from day one but I fell in love with you and I thought that was enough. But I was wrong. When Dom came into my life, I felt something in my life that only she can fill. She complete me, Ray but I was really afraid of myself back then. We both know I get attracted to both men and women but when I met Dom, it was the first time I've ever felt that deep and strong connection with the same sex or with anyone else. I did try to ignore my feelings towards her because I know I'm in a relationship with you. And when you proposed to me, I told myself that maybe we are really meant to be. I accepted your marriage proposal and sacrificed everything that Dom and I could have had back then. My wrong decision and mistake had led me to hurting both of you. I know, letting you know how sorry I am for hurting you won't be enough for what I did, but still, I am really sorry with all my heart. Please don't get mad at Dom because she got hurt too and was broken because of me, because of my wrong decisions. Believe me Ray, I did everything I could to make our marriage work. But we both know now that it's not gonna work anymore. And for the record as we speak, Dom and I are not together. We have never been together like you were accusing us. Yes, I must admit that I really wanted for us to be together but Dom didn't allow it to happen because she respect and consider that I am married to you." I replied. He looked at me with his both fist balled on his side and asked me,"So, what do you want to do now?" "I...uhmm...I want a divorce, Ray." I told him with a shaky voice. "Of course, how stupid I am to ask you what you want." Ray replied. He continued with a long sigh. "Okay, I am not saying that I am not mad with your decision because I really am but I think this is the right time for us to really choose who we want and what will make us truly happy. I cannot blame everything to you why our marriage didn't work. Ever since, I knew and felt the undeniable chemistry and deep connection between you and Dom. Out of ego that I offered you the marriage proposal because I knew you would say yes eventhough she already had your heart back then. Katherine, I want to let you know that in the last few months, I've been wanting to tell you that I met a woman who makes me more wanted and who loves me with all of her, and I'm starting to fall for her. She was the reason I went for a vacation. I already told my family about her. I am really sorry how selfish I am for not letting you know about it sooner. Maybe because I got hurt so bad that it's my way of keeping you away from Dom and making the two of you happy. I'm really sorry, Katherine. But, I'll give you what you wanted and needed. I just have three requests, If I can: I would like to stay here with you and Bernie until everything is settled. I can sleep in the guest room. I just want to be near and be with you and our son even for the last few months or so. I would like to go with you for your New York Earp Convention for the last time as a couple, as Team Barretti. Please give me your work off time during and after convention for the two of us to spend together, and if you can be discreet of your feelings for Dominique when I'm around. And last one, if we can talk to both our families regarding our decision."  "Whoa, Ray. Thank you very much for keeping about your secret other woman from me. You were accusing  me and Dom as secret lovers, but there you are keeping you secret other woman for quite some time now?! And you have the guts to request those after everything? I have all the right to be mad at you, right now but I'd rather not to. Regarding your requests, that's all fine with me, so long, so long that you leave Dom and my family away from all of these dramas. Also, I don't want you to bring your other woman her in my house. You can go out with her as long as you want, I really don't care anymore. All I want now is to start processing and settling our divorce as soon as soon as possible. When it comes to Bernie, you can still borrow him to stay with you once everything is settled. Now, when can we start processing our divorce?" I asked him with stern voice. "After we talked to our families regarding our decision," he replied in low voice. "Okay, all good. Do you still have anything to say because I want to be alone?" I asked him. "None, I'll leave you now. I'll just get my things later and bring those to the guest room. Thank you and please get some rest." He replied and left the room before I could ever replied back.

I just laid down on my bed crying. "I really don't know what to feel. I know it's all my fault but he could have told me earlier about his other woman." I told myself. I thought of calling Dom. I really needed her even just to hear her voice. I did try calling her but she was not answering. I just left a voicemail asking if she can call me back when she can. What I did was closed my eyes and feel her in my heart and soul, just like what she told me. I started to feel calm. Dom really is my reliever. I didn't realise I fell asleep thinking about Dom until I heard someone's calling. When I checked my phone it was her. I answered the call and heard her angelic voice, "Hey baby, how are you? I'm really sorry I didn't hear you calling me, I fell asleep after I unpacked my luggage. Is everything okay, babe?" I can't help but to start crying and told her in between sobs what happened. I knew from Dom's voice that she got mad and told me,"How could he? Why did he do that, huh? What kind of man he was? The mere fact that he knew who you love back then, why did he even ask you to marry him? Because of his ego? That's BS, Kat., I respected him and your relationship, even though my gut feeling was telling me something was wrong." I knew she's holding herself to not outburst and just opted to pacify me instead, as always because she stopped and I heard her sigh before continuing. "Baby although, I'm not 100% agreeing with you but I do respect your decision with granting his requests whilst processing your divorce, however, I don't want to see him nor talk to him, Kat because I can't promise you if I can hold my mouth from firing words at him. But baby, please do know that I'm here and I will always be here for you, for us, as long as you want me. Okay, my best baby? Please stop crying now because it really breaks my heart to hear you crying and hurting...Please...""Baby, can you sing your song,"Lift Your Spirit Up" for me, please?" I asked her with pleading voice. She started singing and her angelic voice was really soothing and calming. I didn't realise my tears were flowing down my cheeks again, every lines of the song was hitting the deepest and every corner of the walls of my heart. Dom maybe and was my Secret Love because of the wrong decision and mistake I've made in the past but she is my better tomorrow and the best part of who I am today. I am ready to welcome each waking day with hope, faith and trust for our someday, somewhere because Dom doesn't deserve to be a Secret Love but someone who I can proudly shout out to the world, "Dominique Provost-Chalkley is my now and always, my soul's other half and my one True and Forever Love." Until I fall asleep with her voice keep repeating in my brain, with my heart full of love, respect and admiration for her.

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Author's Note:

Thank you everyone for reading, liking and commenting on my story. Please feel free to provide feedback that would help me improve in my future works. Again, thank you so much! God bless us all! Stay safe everyone. 🙏 😇 💕