In All Our Years Series - 4 In 1 | Captain!Bucky, WinterSoldier!Steve | Stucky

1970

| 1971 |

"Sit down," Peggy urged him. Her voice was level, but her smile was plaster. It cracked around the very edges. She was seated in one corner of the couch, her shiny black heels to the floor.

Bucky carefully dropped down into one corner of the couch. Peggy pulled her legs up onto the cushion between the two of them, her beige pantsuit trousers pulling tight around her bent knees.

He wasn't sure what was wrong. He hadn't done anything - pushed her buttons the wrong way, bothered her for information he needed that she didn't want to give him. They hadn't fought too overly much, like they had been for what seemed like such a long time. Last week, they actually shared the bed for a whole night, had touched without the other person moving away. It was a small thing to feel proud of but that was how Bucky felt. They'd kissed in ways they hadn't since Chrys was a toddler, and they were able to sneak good moments in the middle of the night.

Maybe she was finally telling him something? It was her, not him. She'd made the first move, sliding her fingers along his jaw to get him to turn his face to hers.

She tucked her wavy hair behind her ears, setting her black-lined eyes on his. She finally said, softly, "I don't know how to tell you this."

His eyes narrowed, instinctively. He didn't like the tone she was using. It set his nerves on edge, made him wait for the other boot to drop.

She fingered at a loose button on her jacket. "I'm..." She huffed, doubling over and pressing her palms against her cheeks. She said, eyes averted and voice muffled, "I'm pregnant."

So many emotions surged up inside of him; happiness, frustration, dread. He wasn't sure what he should be feeling. He wasn't sure how to feel about anything regarding he and Peggy anymore.

"I'm not too sure if I want it," she added, voice level, before he could say anything.

His blood ran cold. He stuttered, completely confused and shocked, "...Wha-what?"

She raised her head, her eyes narrowed into a glare. "You have no say in what I do with my body. You know that." Her voice was as hard as a rock - she wasn't moving.

"Peg, it's illegal -"

"There are pills -"

He scoffed, getting up from the couch. He crossed to the other side of the coffe table, muttering, "Oh, my god...Oh, my god. Jesus -" He spun around, facing her. "You can't be serious."

"I am. James, I'm in my fifties -"

"It's your body, but what you're talking about it ours!" He threw a hand out to the side, gesturing at nothing. "At least ask for my opinion -"

"You've made your opinion very clear -"

"But you didn't ask for it, and that's something you should have done!"

"It's my body! You're not the one who has to be pregnant for nine months - the one to give birth! I don't want to have to do that again." She fitted her fingers against her scalp, tugging at her dark hair. Silver was threaded through it, shiny wires blinking when the light hit them right.

"I get it. I do. I promise, I do," he assured, forcing his voice to soften. "If you wanted to get rid of it, you shouldn't have told me about it."

She huffed. Miserably, she slapped her palms against her thighs and demanded, "What else was I supposed to do? Nothing makes you happy anymore -"

That made another bout of anger explode in his chest. "'Nothing makes me happy'?" He spun on his heels, beginning his mission to wear a track into their floor. He had to move, had to get the energy out before he did something he would never be able to forgive himself for. "You're the one who blocked me out! I spent every day trying to make an effort - then I realized, nothing I do is going to be good enough for you, so I gave up." He threaded his fingers through his hair, ruffling the rogue curls. "I sleep on the couch every night because you want your space, or I crash at Ellie's because it's so goddamn uncomfortable -!"