Rider was busy taping some bandages onto his arm while he sat next to Goggles on top of CuttleFish Cabin. The sun was slowly setting, and it painted quite a relaxing scene after such a stressful mission. Rider was still trying to calm himself down from the events that had just played out...
"Rider, I'm sorry I wasn't paying better attention..." Goggles quietly said to Rider.
His face was turned away from the other because he didn't want his boyfriend to see the tears forming in his eyes. Goggles knew that Rider was upset. He had every right to be. Goggles should've payed attention during the mission, but he didn't, and Rider got hurt in the process of cleaning up after him.
I'm so stupid, Goggles thought, all I do is cause problems for Rider... he's always hurt because of me...
Rider didn't say anything for a moment. Yeah, he was a little mad. Goggles was busy playing with some bug he thought was cute rather than staying alert, and an octoling almost got him from behind. If Rider wasn't there... he shuddered at the thought of what could've happened.
In all honesty, Rider was just glad he caught the enemy in time and that Goggles was okay. The octoling was incredibly fast though, and they got his arm pretty bad... but his relief overrode his frustration and pain.
He sighed heavily before responding, "It's fine Gogs.. you just have to pay attention more.."
He was just about done bandaging his arm when he looked up to see Goggles facing away from him. He knew Goggles felt terrible that he got hurt. He bit his lip and tried to think of what he could do to make this all right.
"Hey, look at me.. It's okay.." as Rider said this he scooted closer to the boy beside him and wrapped an arm around him.
"I know you feel bad, but don't take it too hard.. you just have to pay better attention in the future, okay? We can work on it together."
Rider's words of reassurance only seemed to make Goggles' emotions spill over even more. Goggles' lip trembled and his body started to quiver, causing Rider to immediately tense up.
He hated it when Goggles cried.
Tears spilled over onto his cheeks, and as he tried to control himself only more tears seemed to fall down his face.
No, you idiot! Stop! Stop crying! Goggles berated himself in his head, and started feeling worse by the second.
Suddenly, he felt Rider turn his face towards him. Rider looked at him softly as he cupped his face gently. Goggles couldn't seem to maintain eye contact. He couldn't hold it back anymore and fell into his boyfriend's chest, sobbing quietly.
"I-I'm sorry Rider, I-I'm s-sorry y-you, you got hurt..." Goggles could barely get the words out as he choked on his sobs.
"Baby, it's okay. Just calm down and breathe." Rider said as he held Goggles close to him and rubbed circles on his back.
He let Goggles cry it all out until he had calmed down. By then, the sun had already set and the only lights were the dim lanterns scattered throughout the outpost and the bright stars in the sky.
Rider pulled Goggles off his chest so he could see his face. He hesitated for a moment, because seeing Goggles' puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks hurt his heart.
Rider slowly leaned in, and lovingly kissed his boyfriend. After a few seconds he pulled away to see that Goggles' cheeks were now dusted with a cute blush.
"Gogs, it's no big deal. I'm okay and you're okay. That's all that matters. We finished the mission and we're okay."
"Rider, but your arm-"
"My arm is fine. It doesn't even hurt that bad. I'll heal quickly."
Goggles looked away with a guilty look. Something was still wrong.
"Why are you still upset..?" Rider asked. He was a little worried he had said the wrong thing.
Goggles looked back at him and suddenly ran his hand across the scar on Rider's face. Rider was taken aback from this action and flinched a little.
"I just.." Goggles started.
Rider quickly nodded for him to go on.
Goggles let his hand rest on top of Rider's scar. Rider placed his hand on the hand on his cheek and held Goggles' other hand as well.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Rider asked as gently as he could.
"I still feel so bad. My recklessness keeps causing you pain, a-and I feel so, so bad." said Goggles as tears filled his eyes again.
Rider looked at him in shock. He hoped that Goggles wasn't saying what he thought he was saying...
"W-what are you talk-"
"It's my fault that you have that scar on your face! I-it's my fault, I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have-" Goggles was having trouble getting his words out again. He desperately tried to catch his breath in an attempt to calm down.
Goggles just felt so bad all this time, and it was all spilling out in this moment.
Rider didn't know what to say. It had been months since the incident in the metro.
Does he think what happened to me is his fault? Does he still blame himself after all this time?
Rider came to the startling realization that Goggles had been feeling this way since it had happened, and him getting hurt again didn't help Goggles' guilt.
As Goggles struggled to relax, Rider suddenly grabbed his face in both his hands. He wiped a few of the tears that fell from his lover's eyes.
Goggles' eyes slowly met Rider's.
"Please don't ever, ever blame yourself for what happened. No one could've stopped it. Not me, not you, no one. It was out of our control, Goggles."
Goggles stayed quiet for a moment, still looking into Rider's eyes.
Rider pulled Goggles in for a tight hug. One arm wrapped around his waist while the other gently caressed his head.
"I love you. I love you so much, okay?" Rider whispered into Goggles' ear.
They were both silent for a while. Suddenly Goggles spoke up after some time.
"Can we go home..?"
"Of course."
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oh yeah babey i'm on a roll!!
this one was kinda sad but i had a fun time writing it so :)))
