The Search

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

“There is no way you are going to Washington on your own for a week, no way. You’re just home from the hospital. What if you have another migraine like the last? What would happen to you then?”

“Becca,” I sighed, “I won’t be on my own! Marcia is coming with me, she’s going to visit her sister over there and I think it’s the least I could do,” I lied.

Becca looked exasperated.

“And you’re not responsible for me, I’m an adult! I think I can take care of myself.”

Becca threw her hands in the air.

“You’re so stubborn little sis, just like dad, would never admit anything was ever wrong with him!”

“Nothing is wrong! It was just the realisation that Peter is gone and that I can’t do anything!”

I had told Becca I was done with the search. It was what she wanted to hear and she didn’t need any more worry than she already had with her rocky relationship with the father of her child. She didn’t need to know about Peter’s CIA involvement that would make her blow the top completely and she would never allow me to continue what I was about to do. Becca had a good heart but she was a worrier and she didn’t need me to worry about on top of everything.

Becca took my hand.

“I love you, Lowie, you can go but make sure you call at least twice every day.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. I reached out to hug this woman I had so much love and respect for.

“See you in a week.”

I grabbed my bags and looked at the clock. Derek was picking me up at the corner at 5:30 so Becca couldn’t see. I felt like a monster lying to my sister but I needed to do this.

Becca shoved a one hundred dollar bill into my hand.

“Be safe.”

I smiled at her and walked through the door and ran down the stairs before I started to cry. Nothing was going to hold me back, not even the threat of my life.

I walked quickly down the dark street, pulling my coat around me. I caught sight of Derek’s car at the end of the street and jogged towards it. Derek leaned over and opened the passenger door for me.

“Hey there, Lowie.”

I gave him a tight smile.

“Good morning to you, too,” he mocked.

I wasn’t in the mood for chatting. I just needed to get to Paris as fast as possible.

“How are you holding up, love.”

I glanced over at Derek, with his strong jaw and charming grin. His tanned skin and blonde hair were attractive to the eye. I remembered how wonderful I thought Derek was when he first moved here. I thought he was the most gorgeous, lovely man in the city but Becca had used her longer hair and bigger eyes to lure him first. I had been so mad at Becca at snatching up Derek, knowing how I felt for him. Now I knew I was damn lucky I wasn’t his victim. I’d known since I saw his real personality shine through on that night before his wedding.

“I’m fine.”

Derek sneered.

“All you need is someone new, a bit of excitement!”

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I scowled.

“Peter was different.”

“It doesn’t exist.”

Derek’s face turned serious in the shadows of the early morning.

“What doesn’t exist?”

“Love.”

I watched this man carefully. He was being honest I could hear it in his voice.

“What is it you have with Julie, then? And what you once had with Becca.”

“A while ago I realised that either love doesn’t exist or I am incapable.”

I couldn’t believe what this man was telling me? I knew what I saw when he held his little girl so close and whispered into her ear, when he took every Saturday to spend time with her.

“Maybe you’re not incapable but simply unaware of what the feeling is?”

Derek watched me, searching my eyes and I quickly looked away.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

I smiled in answer.

“Why did you never tell Becca about what you saw that night? Why did you let the wedding go ahead?”

I hesitated to think for a moment.

“I love her,” I said simply.

“You loved her enough to let her marry a man who cheated on his fiancé the day before her wedding?”

“I loved her enough to see how much she loved you and how knowing would have torn her to pieces.”

Pain spread across Peter’s face and he looked straight ahead of him.

“We’re at the airport,” his voice cracked.