I walk alone

-The Musician and his Forgotten Love-

It had been two and a half weeks since I had last seen Alex and Emily had been bugging me relentlessly to go back to the music shop and see if he was there. I doubted he would happen to be there again for New York was a huge city. But Emily wouldn't give up she kept saying that I could be missing out on an amazing opportunity.

So that's why I'm here, standing outside of the music shop and building up the courage to walk in. I didn't know which one I was more scared of him being there, or him not being there.

I opened the door and it let out a little ring. Taking a deep breath I walked towards the back corner that held the bean bags and leather chairs to see if he was there.

As I neared the corner I stepped out and looked at absolutely no one.

He wasn't there.

I knew it would be ridiculous to think he would be here waiting for me, he had a life. Probably a very interesting one in which he played concerts for thousands or maybe he was a top chef in an expensive restaurant.

I'd never know because like the coward I am I had run instead of facing him.

As I turned around to go back to the front door I slammed into a body adorned in a black fitted t-shirt. I mumbled a quick sorry without even looking out and felt someone grasp my hand.

"Youre back."

I turned back to face him and had to shake myself a little to tell if I was seeing things. Could my teenage crush be standing right in front of me? Up close I could see his blue and brown eyes and his flushed cheeks.

"Yeah..." I whispered suddenly self conscious of myself.

Here standing in front of me was this godly man to which I was an ugly rocker wanna be.

"Oh my god. Katlyn I have been waiting here for you for weeks. I knew you'd come." He sounded so excited. His voice deep and rough but yet like a small child's filled with excitement.

Suddenly I felt foolish for ever thinking that he'd not want to see me. He had been excited for me coming. I smiled up at him and laughed.

"You've waited to see me?" I asked even though the answer was clear

"God, katlyn even though we'd never talked before I feel so attached to you. Like we've known each other forever. For fucks sake I don't even know anything about you. But I'd like to. I want to know everything from your favorite color to your middle name to why youre in New York."

I blushed furiously as he flirted with me. Then I remembered that less that four months ago my boyfriend had died. I was already moving on. I'm such a horrible person, then again there's only a certain amount of time you can grieve for. After that it gets old to everyone around you.

"I know the feelings I'm feeling you feel too. You have to be feeling the same. From the way you looked at me in our coffee shop to right now how you came back to see me. I have been in love with you since I was sixteen and my god if I'm going to let a little thing like time get between us then I'm a damn fool."

I giggled and looked up at him pushing aside the feelings of hatred towards myself for forgetting what I'd had with Christian.

"I don't know how I feel. Convince me." I told him

He looked me straight in the eye and came closer to me, our bodies little more than a few inches apart. He cupped my cheek with his hand and whispered to me ever so softly

"I would be happy to spend my days convincing you."

Then he kissed me and it was like sparks flew. How clique huh?

As we broke our kiss to catch our breath I suddenly realized the horror of what I'd done. I'd kissed a man I'd just met and replaced my lost lover in the blink of an eye. I was a slut, a horrible excuse for a girl. I let a tear fall from my eye as I whispered

"I'm sorry..."

And with that I ran out of the music shop for the second time.

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I sat under a giant tree and didn't try to hold in my tears anymore. I let them fall freely onto my shirt. What had I done? What the hell had I done?

I was supposed to be in love with Christian still. I was supposed to never forget him. I was supposed to be grieving for months on end and never date anyone else.

Love is so fucking complicated it hurts.

I sat curled up in a ball for about ten minutes before I felt strong arms surround me. Before I could look up I heard a peaceful humming sound.

"Oh she sits up high surrounded by the sun, one million branches and she loves everyone." The voice sang.

I cried until my tears ran out and I burrowed my head into Alex's chest.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." He whispered sadly, I looked up and he seemed as though he were about to start crying.

"Oh Alex it wasn't you. I'm just a wreck. I'm a no good wreck and I don't know how someone like you could like me." I whispered back my head laying back onto his chest.

"Listen to me, you are beautiful. You are amazing katlyn and I don't just like you. I'm in love with you I have been for almost seven years. I've never wanted something as bad as I want you." He told me aggressively trying to convince me his words were true.

I felt a small genuine small cross my lips as I turned to look up at him. He took a hand and swept a stray hair off my face causing my breathing to hitch.

"Tell me what's wrong" he said with worry in his tone.

So I did. I told him the whole depressing tale of Christian and i's love. Our sad love story and how I felt like I was replacing him so suddenly. It was as if he had just died and I already was almost over him.

Alex listened through the whole thing and finally came up with a solution.

"Friends?" He asked me

Here's the whole 'lets just be friends' bit. This handsome, lovely man was in love with me but now I had made him just want to be friends.

"We'll be friends until I can convince you that we should make it official. If time is what you need them I'll give you time." He continued saying

"Okay, friends."

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I mentioned two songs in this.
How to save a life by the fray and hold on til' May by pierce the veil
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-Sam