Lifeline

Chapter 3 - House of Wolves

Gerard's POV

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I couldn't stop thinking about my meeting with that boy earlier.  He was so adorable, and he was also really short, which just added to how adorable he was.  He has these beautiful hazel green eyes that I could gaze into for hours.  He also has this icy silver lip ring that I could just imagine being pressed against my lips.  I shook my head.  No, I'm not going down that road again.  I remembered the last time I fell in love like this, I got my heart broken into a million little pieces, each one filled with an equal amount of sadness and despair.  I felt my eyes tearing up just thinking about it.  Her name was Lindsey.  She was a truly beautiful girl, but she was so fucking manipulative.  She tore me away from everyone I knew and turned them against me.  Then she threw me over her shoulder and left me to rot.  I was crying and sprinting home by now.  My mind was racing with thoughts. Bad thoughts.  I was fucking sick of living through this endless cycle of torture every single day.  I felt filthy, unworthy, and hopeless.  As soon as I got home, I grabbed the sharpest knife I could find and ran into the bathroom.  I took my clothes off and stepped into the shower, turning it on to mask my cries of agony.  I looked at my protruding hip bones, but I didn't see bone.  All I saw was fat.  "I'm never gonna be fucking beautiful" I mumbled to myself, voice and hand trembling as I cut into the smooth skin over my hips and my stomach.  I cut all across my arms and legs. I did it on my collarbone.  I couldn't stop. Eventually I threw the bloodied knife across the room and looked at the blood splattered on the shower walls.  I solemnly cleaned the blood off the walls and then stepped out, wincing at the pain my fresh injuries caused me as I pulled my black skinny jeans and my shirt back on.  I picked up the knife as well, not wanting to leave a used knife in plain sight.  "Fuck, I need a jacket." I jogged to my room, but my room was across the hall and before I could reach it Mikey showed up in the hallway perplexed.  I bolted into my room and locked the door behind me.  "Uh.. Gee?  Is something wrong?" Mikey sounded genuinely worried.  "Nope. Nothing's wrong Mikey.  I just.. um.. needed to get something."  Even in my panicked state I knew that Mikey could see straight through that steaming pile of bullshit I just shoved in his face.  "Gerard, open the door.  I saw you holding a knife with blood on it.  I'm worried about you."  "Fine." I scoffed as I threw on a leather jacket that was on the floor and cleaned the knife off on my black bed sheets. I unlocked the door and opened it smiling, bowing and gesturing for him to enter.  "Good lord Gerard, why do you have to be so extra?" He said while rolling his eyes. "Oh I don't know, maybe the same reason why you're so sarcastic?" I said feeling myself smirk while I closed the door behind him.  "For fucks sake Gerard, just tell me what's wrong.  I saw your arms too, so don't try to play dumb with me." "Fuck." I felt defeated. I mean, it was pretty obvious since I was wearing a black sleeveless top with a red neckline.  "Also, what about your job? You're gonna have to do something about that."  "Shit, you're right.  I'll just tell them I have family issues. They'll understand."  "Gerard, you can't blame every single one of your problems on our shit family."  "I know. Now get out." I said.  I usually wasn't this rude to my brother, but for one he was being irritating and two I was fucking tired.  I went to sleep in my clothes because I was too lazy to take them off and dreamed about Frank.

~~~~~~~~~~~Next Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up on my own at around 2:30 in the afternoon and decided to call my work.  They said that I had to come back in a month from now.  Hopefully that would be enough time for my scars to heal.  I then decided that I was tired of standing out so much, so I dyed my hair black again.  After I was finished with that, I had about two hours until I got to see Frank once more.  I decided to spend that spare time dolling myself up with the makeup hidden under my bed and doing my hair how I liked it.  I actually thought I looked pretty good for once.  I changed my shirt to one with a misfits skull on it and threw a leather jacket on.  I walked into the kitchen to get something to eat, then realized that I had to meet Frank in about twenty minutes. "Shit" I said to nobody in particular, realizing I was late as I ran out of the house and into the driveway.  Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my beloved Starbucks, and I could see my other beloved, Frank, through the window playing on his phone.  I smiled as I dramatically walked through the door with a hair flip and a wink at Frank.  "Good evening" I said in a bad British accent while bowing.  "You changed your hair." He said. "I like it." As he said this, a wide smile came across his face. "What?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow and did a crooked smirk.  "Oh, uh.. nothing.  Just a stupid thought is all."  He looked down with the smile still on his face.  He scratched the back of his neck as his face turned scarlet.  Did he possibly like me back?  No, that was stupid.  And impossible.  How could anyone love me?  I shook all those thoughts out of my head and focused on Frank's beautiful eyes.  I don't know why, but they always seemed to calm me down.  Then I decided that I would make a really fucking bold move.  I strutted up to the counter with one hand on my hip and tilted Frank's head up with my other hand.  He turned more crimson, if that was even possible.  This felt.. wrong somehow.  Like he was supposed to be doing this to me.  "Frank.." I said desperately.  "Yeah Gee?" He asked slowly blinking his eyes, his mouth partially open.  He looked so fucking hot like that.  "Can you make me a black coffee?"  I said with a smirk.  "You fucking bitch.  How dare you get my hopes up like that."  I was confused.  "Hm?" I asked.  "Oh, uh.. nothing."  He said while smiling.  He gave me my coffee with a sly grin on his face.  He had written a little heart and what I assumed was his phone number.  "You sly devil."  I said punching the number into my phone and adding it to my contacts.  I called it to make sure it was real, which it was.  I smiled at him and started talking to him to get to know him better.  After about an hour and a half, Frank suddenly stopped talking to me.  "Is something wrong?" I asked.  I was perplexed.  He simply replied with, "No, quite the opposite actually." He took off his apron and flipped the sign to closed.  He then grabbed me by the wrist and quickly walked over to his car, which he pushed me up against.  "Ti amerò fino al giorno della mia morte." He said before pushing his lips against mine into a soft kiss, which soon became more passionate.  I loved the feeling of his icy lip ring against my lips; that feeling contrasting with the feeling of his soft lips was almost orgasmic.  He reached up and grabbed my hair, gently pulling.  I stroked my fingers up his spine to the back of his neck, which caused him to shiver as he pulled on my hair harder.  I couldn't help but let out a small moan of pleasure as I felt his fingers intertwining with my matted hair.  I held the hand that wasn't busy playing with my hair and with the other hand I pushed our heads closer together.  Frank ran his finger along the veins in my neck and I shuddered from his cold touch.  Eventually, we pulled apart.  "Why don't we get an apartment and continue this there?"  He asked with a smirk.  "Why of course.. sugar."  I responded, slightly more confident now that he had made the first move.  He opened the passenger door and pushed me into the seat, straddling me.  We kissed once more, but this time it was much more intense and passionate.  I couldn't help but get turned on by the small moans that kept escaping through Frank's mouth.  We broke the kiss and he went to get out of the car to go to the driver's side door, but on his way out his knee accidentally brushed against my crotch, causing me to moan quite loudly. Frank just smirked at me and said, "Save it for the hotel, sweetheart."  I smiled back at him and we drove off to find a hotel to stay at for the night.  "This is gonna be one hell of a night."  Frank said, an edge of excitement in his voice.  "Indeed."  I replied, as we intertwined fingers and braced ourselves for what was to come.