HEAVEN OR EARTH?

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I could see the bright light beyond my eyelids. I guess I'm in heaven, but something tells me not to open my eyes.

''You can't take her away!!!'' I heard a male's voice shouting . I couldn't see who he was clearly because he was standing right in front of the window and the light was currently burning my eyes

''You don't even know her and you have no rights to tell me what to do or what not to do. This is for her betterment . So shut the hell up because I'm the mother who's daughter tried to kill herself and not you!!'' My mom's voice was all around the room

''She just needs time, give her more time.''he pleaded

''Mom? Why the heck am I still alive??'' I asked angrily without caring about whatever my mom and the other person were arguing about

''Get out!'' She said pointing at the door

''I will but let me see her, just once.''he said starting to come closer to me

I could see him now. It was the new guy, Dave. He was the one arguing with my mom...

but why?

''Get out or else I will call security to come drag you out of this room!!'' Her voice was now louder than before but I could still sense the crack in her voice, almost at the verge of tears.

''I saved your daughter's life. Even though she didn't want to be saved, I still did and as her mother you sure have a strange way of showing gratitude'' he said before slamming the door behind him.

Aaaaagh!!! She exclaimed angrily and headed towards my direction

''You... Do you even know what you're putting me through? Try to put yourself in my position and see what I'm going through!!! Your father is in jail Mel!!! Jail!!.. I have been butting myself up every day, working hard and trying to make a living for the both of us and yet here you are trying to take your own life just for one person that has been dead for more than six months. Do you think you're the only person that has lost someone who meant so much to you? I lost both of my parents when I was only 14 years old, lost my nana at 16 and I lost my baby boy when he was only 6 years old....my husband is being jailed for 8 years now for something he didn't even do. You made me have a temporary leave for three months at the office just because my boss told me that he thinks you need me more . You're still thinking of taking your own life, huh?!! What have I not given you Mel? Why are you being so selfish? You're making this so hard for me.'' She said as tears were rolling down her cheeks looking at me like I'm the one biggest mistake she has ever done in her entire life.

''You mom. You've not given me you.!! You think about work all day and everyday. Danny died mom, you were never there for me to cry on and to tell me that it was all going to be okay. Dad got jailed and the only time I could see you at home was when you forgot something and you came to get it and then I found Emma, she was more than a bestfriend to me, like a sister . She knew me more than I even knew myself, always there for me when you were not. When she died, she took a whole part of me with her and yet you were still not there for me. I needed you, even your boss noticed, why couldn't you?
Still, you were looking for temporary jobs online. Sometimes I even forget I have a mother. I have no other reason for me to be here, not you, not anyone at school and not Emma. It's better off to be dead than be in this messed up life of mine. Why couldn't you just let me go? I would have been at peace. Somewhere away from everything and everyone here. somewhere where Emma was, waiting for me to be with her again. But you ruined that for me.'' I said numbly, trying so hard not to break down here. Not in front of my mom.

''I've already enrolled you in a mental institution. There coming to take you as soon as your discharged from the hospital.'' She said after some few minutes of a deep silence between us and with that final statement ,she stood up and left the room.

A million thoughts hit my mind and that was when I decided to let it all out.... crying myself out of this miserable life.

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