Super Nova.

Chapter 46

~ Jenna's POV ~

I was like a zombie. I wasn't living I was just alive. My days was filled with things I did without thinking, I just dealt with it as in a trance. My longing for Marshall was stuck like a big lump in my throat.

Chrissy tried to cheer me up and invited me over for dinner but I declined saying I had too much at work. The truth was that I sat home in the dark, waiting for Marshall to call staring out the window at the gray October weather.

My boss wasn't back until November so I had no one to ask if I could take the rest of my vacation soon. My coworkers started to avoid me because I wasn't talking to anyone anyway, they just saw me weirder than ever.

I lived for our calls. My stomach filled up with butterflies every time I heard his perfect voice in my ear. He could hear on me that I was down and he always tried to cheer me up. He told me that he's gone back to the studio making new music and I wished I could be there with him, listening to him rap. They planned a new tour too and it made me terrified. What if he finds a new girl, like he found me? My brain tried to shut that thought down as the horrific voice of my father got louder and more frequent.

When I was with Marshall, the voice almost disappeared because he made me feel so good about myself but now, I was a mess.

Ya still don't get it, huh? He doesn't want ya to call and disturb him no more, slut. He's done with ya. You're such a dumb bitch, bitch.

And touring, in Australia. Have ya seen the women down under, they're beautiful as fuck. Not like you, you skank.

It just went on and on as I doubted everything Marshall and I've done and said to each other.

The weeks went on and one Sunday evening a sudden knock at my door startled me as I sat in the dark of my apartment. I peeked through the little window in my door I saw Chrissy standing there with a puzzled look on her face. As I opened I saw her face fall and she now looked at me as in chock.

"Jenna, what the fuck?" she stared at me from head to toe and back up at my face again. "What's wrong with you, are you sick?"

"What? No I'm just ..." I let my words fade and wished I've never opened the door.

Chrissy walked by me and turned the lights on in the living room. I squinted my eyes at the sudden brightness and she looked back at me again.

"What the hell happened to you?" she was really upset now and she dragged me to the couch and pushed me down in it. "Did he do this?"

"Did who do what? I don't understand, I'm fine" I tried but Chrissy just waved her hands at me and shook her head.

"No you're not fine, you are sick" she yelled and started to cry.

I stared at her and wondered what she talked about, okay I hadn't clean the apartment and showered today, or yesterday come to think of it but I mean, I wasn't expecting company. Who does she think that she is, barge in here starting this riot.

I had no energy to get upset at her, otherwise I had thrown her out. Now I just sat there, bowing my head in embarrassment.

"Come here" she said and pulled me up and in to my bedroom.

She got me in front of the full size mirror on my closet door and turned the lights on. I looked at her and she nodded for me to turn my head to the mirror. I did. And my hand went up to my mouth I chock as I saw myself.

I was pale and my otherwise so shiny hair hang in dirty strands over my head and down my shoulders. My eyes seemed too big for my face because my cheeks were all sunken in so my cheekbones stood out. Under my eyes there were dark rings and my skin looked almost pellucid. The clothes on my body hang loose as I could see my collar bones through my shirt.