Super Nova.

Chapter 64

~ Jenna's POV ~

Tom didn't let me go in to Marshall in the bathroom. He held me by my waist and I scratched his hands in a try to get him to let me go. I needed to see him, my Marshall might be hurt in there and I wasn't there to hold him.

After a while the doctor came out and after him Sam with an arm around Marshall's shoulders. I inhaled sharply at the sight of the big bandages around his left hand. He didn't raise his eyes and looked at me but I could see that he registered my presence anyway. He frowned as he sat down on the couch and Tom finally let go of my waist so I could go to him. I rushed to his side as if I was shot from a canon and Sam asked me if they should leave us. As I nodded he said that they were just outside the door and that I should call out if I needed them. I understood that they thought that Marshall could hurt me but I knew better. He would never lay a hand on me.

"I'm so sorry Marshall" I said and he frowned even harder at me. "I'm so sorry for rushing off like that".

"You have nothing to be sorry about, baby girl" he said and stroked his hand over his face and hunched his head so I couldn't see his face.

I glided down to the floor and looked up at his beautiful face which was full of remorse now.

"I'm an asshole" he whispered and closed his eyes and shook his head and a big lump of anxiety rose up to my throat making it hard to breathe.

"Please" was all I could say and he looked at me with tears in his eyes. "Please" I said again and my own tears started to fall down my cheeks.

He picked me up from the floor but he didn't sit me down in his lap as he used to do. He sat me beside him and as soon as I was there he immediately rose up and went to the other side of the room, leaving me with just the sight of his back towards me. He leaned against the wall and I was afraid that he would punch it with his already broken fist but he just stood there. I could see the heaving motion his body made with every deep breath he took.

Was this it? He couldn't look at me anymore. Was it because I ran off on him again or was it because I told him that my father's voice was back in my head again? He might even think that I want it there, that I evoked it myself.

Stupid whore.

I lean forward and put my arms around my legs in a vainly attempt to hold myself together and not let the anxiety out but I lost. I started to cry even harder and my gasps made him finally to turn around. He looked at me with eyes filled with fear as he took a few long steps to be by my side in a second.

"Jenna, no" he said and stroked my back but I could still feel him restrain himself. "Jenna stop, please" he gasped and I did all in my power to stop crying but I couldn't.

Suddenly he grabbed me and put me up on his lap as he held me tight hushing in my ear.

"I'm so fucking sorry Jenna, for everything. I shouldn't push you into singing, I shouldn't be pissed at Sam as he carried you, I shouldn't yell and scream when you are in the room because I know how scared you'll be" he whispered in my hair and I could feel myself relax more and more as he went on.

My trembling decreased as my heart slowed down and all we did was sitting there holding each other until we felt comfortable enough to speak about it.

"Marshall, I never intended to run away, I was lost in all these corridors and couldn't find my way back to you" I said and bowed my head. "I didn't mean to tell you that I've heard my father either and I'm sorry I did".

He raised my head with his hand under my chin and frowned at me as I continued apologizing to him.

"I'm sorry I got scared and acted as if you should hit me, it just came back to me. The survival mode" I rambled on until he hushed me up.

"Hush Jenna, for fuck sake, stop apologizing for things that wasn't your fault. If I hadn't push you, you would never run. If I hadn't done it your father's fucking voice wouldn't be back. If I hadn't scream and act like a fucking asshole you wouldn't need to go into survival mode" he looked me straight in the eyes. "It's me, I'm the one who's sorry. I'm the bastard making you feel like shit in my presence".

I shook my head franticly and told him that I wasn't even going to listen to what he said because he wasn't to blame here. It was me. Only me.

"Jenna, baby girl, my fairy. I know I'm totally selfish when I say this and that I really should let you go," he held me real tight as he went on "but please, please don't leave me" I could feel his tears on my skin.

Leave him? Why would I leave him? He was my everything.

~ Marshall's POV ~

I felt so ashamed of my behavior that I hardly could look her in the eyes as we decided to break our embrace and head back to the hotel. I needed to let the doc check out my hand again to see if I had made some real damage to myself.

Now he sat beside me in the suite bathroom as Jenna stood beside me holding a lamp so he could see better. With her other hand she stroked my cheek and over my hair and I close my eyes and enjoyed her touch as I tried to shut out the pain from the doctor picking pieces of glass out of my knuckles. I will not get any permanent detriment other than a few scars to remind me of this day forever. Remind me of how not to do.

Jenna just looked down at me with her green beautiful eyes filled with worry about my hand and maybe about my sanity. As the doctor finished up and put a new bandage on my hand she went into the bedroom to get ready for the night.

I was going to get up early tomorrow to hit the hotel gym that was booked for me at 8 a.m., a part of my show day routines. As I thanked the doctor and shut the door behind him I could feel her hands and arms snake around my body stroking my chest and abs.

"Are you coming to bed?" she said with her raspy voice, not in a seductive way more with a caring tone.

"In a sec baby girl, you go on and I'll be right in" I said as she let me go and turned around to hit the sack. "I love you" I said quietly and she stopped in her tracks and turned to me.

"Why does it sound like you are saying it for the last time ...?" she asked and I shook my head and bowed my head unable to look at her.

She came back to me and held me around my waist pushing herself up to me as if she couldn't get close enough. I put my arms around her and I started to cry. I knew that I couldn't leave her, even though I make her miserable. I started to shake and she looked up at my tear-stained face and started to dry my cheeks with her hands.

"Marshall please don't cry" she begged and I shook my head and bite my lip to stop but the tears kept coming. "Marshall why are you crying? I love you so much and you need to sleep now for the show tomorrow" she tried and I held her head against my chest for her not to look at my face as I told her the truth.

"Jenna, you can't be with a man who scares you, that is not a life I want for you" I said quietly as she broke down in tears too.

A/N

I'm sorry for this short chapter but I had to let it out of my head. The next one will be longer, I promise.