December 1999 – Sarah's POV
I was drunk, very, very drunk. Amanda and I had gone out to celebrate the New Year. Ending up in a club, a very handsome man had approached me and we danced for a while. He was nice and as I drunk more I started to loosen up. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him, our faces getting close. I smiled and bit my lip, teasing him a little. He smirked and pushed our lips together. When the kiss finished, I pulled back and bit my lip again, he was so intoxicating. He went to the bar and grabbed me another drink. I downed it pretty quick, too quick and all of a sudden I felt it all go to my head.
"I..I think I'm going to be sick" I slurred
He took my hand and started leading me to the bathroom. I tried to make my way to one of the stalls, he followed me in and locked the door. I started getting to my knees to lean over the bowl but he kept me up and pushed his face into mine again
"I feel sick, stop" I said trying to pull away, but all of my energy was gone. He didn't listen and he pushed my body into the wall and started kissing my neck and unzipping my dress. I tried again and again to pish him away, but I felt myself fading second by second. I was about to pass out, when I felt him between my legs as he pushed himself into me. My eyes flew open and I went to let out a scream but he clamped his hand over my mouth. He thrusted in and out and it hurt so badly. Tears flew down my face and I tried to let out noises, but they were so muffled what with his hand and the loud music from the club. Every thrust felt like I was being torn in two. Finally it came to an end and I felt him finish inside of me. I wasn't sure if I was crying more because I was raped, or from the fact that I could have his child in my belly after this. He let go of me and my body slumped to the floor, all of the energy rushed from me and I passed out.
When I woke up, I was lying in my bed and Amanda was by my side.
"Hey, are you okay?" she whispered, stroking my hair
I let out a cry and covered my face with my hand
"I know, I know. You don't have to say anything about it, I'm here ready to do anything you want me to. Want me to take you to the hospital, I'll do it. Want me to take you to your mom, I'll do it. Want me to ring the cops, I'll do it. Whatever you need baby girl" she said softly
I just cried and cried. I couldn't believe that it had happened to me.
After I calmed down I asked her to get me a pregnancy test and take me to my mom's.
When I arrived at mom's, she already knew what had happened and we cried together about it.
"Go and do that, baby" she signalled to the pregnancy test in my hand "Then we can work out where we're going from here"
I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I was terrified. I didn't want to be pregnant, I really didn't. It was the absolute last thing I wanted. I was scared to be pregnant, because something in me knew that if I was, I wouldn't be able to cope with getting an abortion. I took a deep breath and peed on the stick and then made my way out to be with mom.
We waited for a few minutes. My hands were trembling from nerves and my heart felt like it had made a permanent residence in my throat.
"Its time baby" my mom said stroking my face "Whatever happens, just know that I'll always support you"
I looked down and saw that it indicated that I had a baby in me. I wanted to die. I felt numb and all I could do was stare into space. Mom and I stayed there for a little bit before she said
"What do you want to do, sweetheart?"
"It's my baby, I have to keep it"
August 29th 2000 – Sarah's POV
Fear ran through my mind as I was rushed to the hospital. My mother gripped my hand tightly and whispered in my ear that everything was going to be fine, but I knew otherwise. This was unfair, the whole thing was. The pain started up again and I screamed out as the doctors crowded around me.
"You're almost ready to start pushing, Sarah" one of the doctors said encouragingly, I didn't feel encouraged though
Terror coursed through my veins and tears began to stream down my eyes. My mother caught my face between her hands and kissed my forehead
"You know that I'll support you no matter what you do sweetheart. Just do your best, that's all anyone is asking"
I let out a weak smile and knew that I needed to start pushing. The pain accelerated through my body. I screamed out hysterically and squeezed my mother's hand so hard I was sure it was going to break. It seemed to go on forever and I was sure I was going to die, until suddenly I felt a rush of relief and the sound of little baby's cries. I fell back down onto the pillow, breathing heavily, my mother smiling at me with tears in her eyes
"You did such a good job" she whispered as her tears began to spill down her face
The doctor walked over to us, holding the baby in a pink blanket
"It's a girl" she handed her over to me and as soon as I saw her face, I felt the butterflies circulating in my belly. She was beautiful. This moment felt a lot different to how I had expected it to. I was in love with her the moment my eyes set down on her. She was tiny and perfect and everything you would want a child to be. As soon as I had her in my arms her cries ceased, and she looked up at me with her soft brown eyes. She let out a little noise to let me know she was alive and well and I smiled at her as tears ran down my face, this time in happiness. I had never felt so happy as I did in that moment. She was mine and only mine and nobody could take her away from me, no matter how hard I tried.
"Hello my baby" I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead "You're safe, no one is ever going to hurt you, I'll protect you now and forever"
She let out a little coo and I snuggled her closer to me
"What about a name for her, darling?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by my mother
"Grace Elizabeth Paulson" I smiled down at her, but something felt like it was missing
"You know, she looks so much like you Sarah. Maybe you should give her your name as her middle name as well, that way she knows she's always got a little bit of you with her. That's what I did for you."
I thought about my name Sarah Catherine Paulson. I had always loved having my mother's name as my middle name. I played it through in my head. Grace Elizabeth Sarah Paulson. I liked that. I wanted my little girl to always know that I was there watching over her and making sure that she was safe. I smiled at my mother
"That's a wonderful idea mom, thank you" she gripped my hand and smiled down at Grace
"She's going to grow up and be just as wonderful as you Sarah, just you watch"
God, I hope so.
YOU ARE READING
Endless Love
FanfictionGrace comes into Sarah's life in August 2000. She had never planned on having children, but Grace was perfect. All she had to do now was be a good mother, something that turns out to be much harder than expected.
