Endless Love

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Grace

When we landed it was lunchtime, we got off of the plane and headed straight to the villa which was only about half an hour away.

The villa was in a secluded area, surrounded by palm trees and a huge expanse of land inhabited only by a few other villas which weren't close enough for anyone to overlook us.

It was all open plan inside and sported an infinity pool around the back and steps down to our own private beach. I was mesmerized.

Restaurants were about a 10-minute walk away and it was HOT, I knew my tan was going to be incredible at the end of this vacation.

We were greeted by Liz, her husband, and their kids and then we each took to our rooms. My room was being shared with Mom and Holland. They had a double bed and I had a single on the other side of the room.

I was grateful for this as I wouldn't want to sleep alone, especially in a house that I had never been in before.

As we walked into the room, I went straight over to the window which had double doors leading out to a patio with a table and chairs, perfect for a late-night drink.

"This is adorable, I feel like I haven't been on vacation in so long" I said as I walked back in and walked over to my bed to start unpacking

"Just put something on to swim in, honey, we're going to sunbathe until dinner" Mom pressed a kiss into the side of my head

I unzipped my case, excited to be heading out to swim in the water, I had heard that it was completely clear here.

As I fumbled around trying to find a swimsuit, I quickly realised that none of them were there. Instead, they had been replaced by bikinis.

"Mom..." I looked at her anxiously

"Sweetie listen" she walked over to me, already aware of what I was about to talk about "I took them out and put bikinis in instead"

"Why did you do that? You know how I feel about bikinis" I could feel angry tears forming in my eyes

"Because, you are beautiful and gorgeous no matter what and no matter how you look at yourself, we'll never think of you that way. You should be proud of the person you are and the way you look. You're the skinniest person here, well apart from Ethan and Hannah" Mom let out a little laugh like this was funny

"Mom, Liz's kids are  3 and 6 years old" I couldn't believe she was trying to compare me to my baby cousins. Frankly it didn't matter to me whether I looked the skinniest to them or not – I looked at myself and saw fat and knew that other people did too. "How can you expect me to be proud of myself and what I look like when I look like this" I held my arms out as a few tears rolled down my face

Mom pulled me into a hug "You're beautiful and I love you, I don't know why that isn't enough. Everyone here loves you"

It was great that everyone loved me, but what did it mean if I couldn't love myself?

"I just really wish you hadn't done that"

"Trust me, you're the most beautiful girl" I wrapped my arms around my stomach already conscious about my body "put a sundress on over the top if it makes you feel better" She planted a kiss on my forehead and went over to her suitcase

I grabbed one of the bikinis and headed to the bathroom to put it on with a white sundress over the top. As I stood in the bikini I stared at my body and felt the heat rise through my body, repulsed at the sight of myself.

I quickly placed the sundress over myself and consciously tried to think of ways to lose weight quickly. Firstly, only eat when absolutely necessary, secondly swim – a lot.