Endless Love

Chapter Fifteen

Grace's POV

When I woke up, I was lying on the couch with a blanket over me and Lelly tucked in next to me. I sat up slowly and realised I was alone. I looked out the window and it was dark. How long had I been asleep?

I got up and stretched before making my way towards the kitchen where I hear mom and Holland talking.

Looking down at my hands, I saw mom had put band-aids over where I had picked.

Before going into the kitchen I stopped again to hear what they were saying

"I don't know... I'm just worried about her. I've always been worried about her, even when she was little. She's always been sensitive and innocent. Life like ours just isn't meant for her. All the travel and the media and people, long distance. Just this whole lifestyle isn't her. She's never been good at dealing with me being away, that's why she's like she is and I can't blame her for it. I mean when I was growing up I was a latch-key kid. My mom was always out of the house doing this job or that, but that was different, she had no choice. We were living on very little money and we lived in 6 different apartments over 7 years because we couldn't keep the rent up. I always had trouble with my emotions and things because I wanted her there and I never felt like we had a proper home. I just never wanted it like that for her, but somehow I've come to realise it's not the fact that we moved homes lots or didn't have that much stuff like the rest of the kids at school, I just wanted my mom to be there when I came home from school so I could tell her things and have dinner with her and her to be there to put me to bed at night. The sort of fear that I used to have because she wasn't there has passed down to Grace, she's terrified to sleep on her own. And somehow out of all of this, I've managed to become the very thing I never wanted to be...never there for her. Ironically, she's spent so much of her childhood with my mom it's a joke. No wonder she's clingy, I was too when my Mom came home."

"Sarah, you can't beat yourself up about this, okay? I can tell Grace loves you more than anyone in the world. And it's not hard to see that you are a wonderful mother to her. You can't do everything perfect but what you're going to do for her by moving to LA is going to be the best thing for the both of you. Embrace that she's clingy, most kids her age have grown up and don't want anything to do with their moms. Be thankful that she still wants to hold your hand and cuddle and whatever, it's sweet and something to hold on to for as long as possible."

I slid down the wall and picked at my hands. I didn't realise Mom felt that shitty about everything. I didn't realise she was worried about how clingy I am. I heard chairs scrape and I got up and walked into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes to make out I had only just woken up

"Hey baby girl" mom said coming over and hugging me tight

"Hi mommy" I yawned and buried my head into her

She rubbed my back and kissed my forehead. I smiled and took her hand. I decided that because of Holland's comment about mom embracing my clinginess this gave me free reign to be as clingy as I wanted, because I knew mom was going to take what she said on board

"I think I'm going to shoot, I've got an early flight tomorrow" Holland said standing up

We walked her to the door and I hugged her and said "Thank you"

We both pulled away and she kissed my forehead "You're tremendous" she whispered and squeezed my hand

I let her and mommy have a minute to themselves and walked into the kitchen. Nothing had been said about food and I wasn't going to bring it up so I sat on the countertop and pulled out my phone seeing a twitter notification from mom. I clicked on it and saw it was a picture of me sleeping on the sofa. She had captioned it "My little sweetheart" and a little red heart. I smiled to myself and liked it.