Interrogator (Rick Sanchez x Reader)

.two.

"Interrogator? Surprising, I was expecting someone... Bigger than you. Not that I'm judging your skills on your size. Please, right this way."

Crack! You definitely broke this guy's nose. And you didn't care. You couldn't hear it over Thunder by SHAED. You always had a reason to play music while you worked. You didn't want to be left alone with the noises of bones breaking and hearing the blood-curdling screams of your clients' clients. The lyrics didn't matter, as long as it was loud yet not deafening. You had to be able to hear the information to get back to your client. 

This guy was different. He would let you do anything to him, he wasn't giving up his information. 

Crack! Another bone broken. He screamed out in pain, but you kept a straight face as you adjusted your bandanna high around your face, hiding everything below your eyes. Even though this man in front of you wasn't going to be alive soon to tell what he saw, you instinctively sheltered your features. Truth is, no one actually knew you were a woman. Sure, you were short, but the way you handled these situations, it was hard to tell. 

You always wore a hoodie that hid your chest well, always covered your face with bandannas, always wore black gloves to cover your feminine hands, and never wore the same wig twice. You were a disguise artist, usually going with short boy-ish wigs to complete your look. Adding on to the fact that you've never actually spoken to your bosses, only talked through text, there was no way to determine your sex by voice. 

Crack! You were certain you'd cracked this man's skull , but you weren't stopping until he gave up his information. 

Crack! Crack! Snap! He was so bloody and battered by the time he gave in, you weren't even sure if you had to finish him off. He was wheezing, gasping for air as you wrapped your gloved hands around his throat, pinching his nose closed, hoping you wouldn't have to wait long before he passed. 

•  •  •

A buzz awoke you. You shot up from your air mattress and grabbed your phone from its charger. Buzz-buzz... buzz-buzz... buzz-bu--

You answered, yawning and stretching in your 'bed.' "'Ello?" You slurred out in a slightly croakier voice than normal due to just waking, rubbing your eyes as you awaited an answer.

"Y/N, did you just wake up?" You recognized that happy voice in an instant, rolling your eyes with a small smile. 

"Konnor? Dude, you know I just got moved in yesterday," you groaned, pulling your phone away to look at the time. Shit, it was a quarter to one. 

"Yeah, well, I know you said you needed to paint your house, so..." A knock came from your door. God, even after moving you couldn't get away from your best friend. Oh well. You were quick to make your way through the house, stepping over some of your stuff that you've yet to put away.

"If you didn't bring paint, Konnor, we aren't going to be doing much of anything-" You muttered, opening to door to see your friend smiling and hanging up, now holding up a gallon of light grey paint. 

"Have I ever let you down?" Konnor laughed, handing you the paint before speaking again. "I have seven more in the truck."

Wait... Konnor didn't own a truck. "Konnor-?"

"I rented a moving truck. I hope you didn't mind, I just didn't feel comfortable with you not sleeping in an actual bed. I brought your mattress and bedframe. We can put it together now, if you'd like." God, what would you do without this man? 

You rolled your eyes and smiled. "Thanks man. I appreciate it. At least now I'm not stuck with making infinite trips back and forth to H/T." You pulled Konnor in for a long embrace, and you couldn't help but notice the old man and teenager from yesterday staring. You were quick to look away, pulling out of the hug. "By the way, I did just wake up, you woke me up from some amazing sleep and I'll never forgive you for it," you lied, knowing you were up most of the night from the excitement of being in a new house and the memories that played so clearly in your head. 

He shook his head, erupting in laughter. "Y/N... We both know you only got five hours of sleep, tops." Damn, he read you like a book. 

"Well shit. It was worth a shot." You joked, stepping outside and shutting the door, leaving the paint gallon right next to the door. "Let's get the mattress inside first, yeah? I can at least sleep on an actual mattress tonight instead of that air mattress." You yawned again, feeling the exhaustion already taking over your body. This was going to be a fun day. Not. 

•  •  •

The teenager was the first to notice you talking to the guy. He looked at the older gentleman an stuttered, "R-Rick, look. I think that our neighbour has a boyfriend or some-something." 

'Rick' glanced up from his project, his expression bored, quickly turning to shock. "Holy shit, Mor-" he burped, interrupting his sentence, "-ty, look at that! I don't care." 'Morty' rolled his eyes at Rick, giving a sigh. 

"S-so, like... Are we going to welcome her to the- to the neighbourhood...?" Morty asked, staring back at you, seeing you were now hugging the man he could only assume was your lover.

Rick's eyes drifted up to you, and soon they were both staring before they realized you'd caught them, though Rick's gaze lingered a bit longer than Morty's. 

"Why-why don't you invite her to dinner, Morty? I'm sure she'd much rather see-see some little dipshit rather than me," he looked back at the box, placing a final screw into the cube and screwing it shut. "I honestly don't understand how someone even like Jerry could destr-burp-oy a Meseeks box. Let's see if this thing still works." He placed the Meseeks box on the floor and pushed the button with his foot. A Meseeks popped out.

"I'm Mr. Meseeks; look at me!" It obnoxiously drew attention to itself, making you look up for a split second before the guy you were talking to laughed and you forgot all about what was happening across the street.

"Meseeks, go find my flask," Rick demanded after feeling his lab coat and realizing it wasn't there. Today was just going to be one of those days, huh Rick?