JANE:Heal Me 💔

Sessions

Jane's pov

"I'm a witch".

"Not your voodoo carp kind of witch but the one where you are suppose to use the 'b' instead of 'w' in the witch but you can't cause you grew up in a place where those kind of words is not allowed so am a witch.As a witch my mood swing is so terrible that there are days where I just want to shut down though I have plans and promises to fulfill  on that day but still I go ahead and shut down even when I know how disappointed people will be in me.Have you ever felt like your heart seriously can't endure the amount of burden it's carrying right now,it feels so heavy both physically and mentally and I just start to wonder when will I give up?"

"Soon".

"I always hear that resounding answer in my head every single time Rachel".

"To be honest somedays I feel like a super hero".I smiled to myself thinking about how silly that was.

"How so?". Rachel asked jotting down furiously,not even looking at me.

"Uhmmm,well on this days,the bad guys in my head doesn't win, though they try to bring me down but still on this days I don't let win cause even when am fighting a battle in my head I still step out of room".

"Stupid right?".I sniffled dreading to look at Rachel.

"No, Jane,every hero has there day". Rachel said reaching out to hold my hands,another hurdle she was trying to help me cross as my therapist.I was uncomfortable but I let her hold unto my hands a bit longer before I pulled away.I've been trying to touch and be touched be people ever since I started this therapy 3 weeks ago but so far no one as being able to make me feel comfortable as much as Ben had.

"You're smiling,what are you thinking about Jane?"

"...Ben".

"Ha,speaking of Ben, Jane do you know Ben still feels guilty for not being home that night?".

"I-I didn't know,we never really talked about it but I don't blame him for anything Rachel,I really don't."I replied worried about Ben now.

"Good, I'm telling you this Jane not just as your therapist or marriage counselor to you and your husbandbut as your friend,please talk  to him Jane,let him know what exactly you feel for him, he's beating himself up over what happened that night and he thinks he his undeserving of you."

"...But he didn't tell me all this Rachel,there are bad days sure but things have going smoothly between us.He even joined me on my cooking lesson this morning before I came here".I really was starting to feel awful now ,what kind of wife doesn't know when something was wrong with her husband?.

"No,no,no Jane.I'm not telling you this so you can beat yourself up,I would have loved to talk about this with the both of you present but Ben schedule doesn't fit in with yours.Jane, you're a good woman and Ben knows that too,so he will do anything to hold onto you."

"Rachel?".I whispered hoarsely overcome with my emotions.

'Yes, Jane".

"I love him".

"Does he know this?"Rachel asked smiling at me.

"No"

"Then tell him Jane,if you think he's worth it that is".

"He is!"I shouted getting defensive.

"Good,let him know then".

"I will".

______________________________________

"Maddie,I need your help please".I rushed out as soon as my new friend picked up".

"I'm at work Jany,my boss who is your husband can fire me you know". Maddie snarked.

Rolling my eyes,I snarked back at her."Don't worry,I'll tell him to let you keep your job,Ben can't say no to me but Maddie,I'm serious".

Showing your true colour I see,just  tell me what you need already".

I told her what I needed her help with and disconnected the call.I just couldn't help but smile at I and Maddie silly antics and just to think a few months back I was ready to kill her without knowing she was just a troubled soul like I was...am, without knowing even hourglass shaped women like Maddie can get there heart broken and get bitter about it too.Come to think of it,Maddie could have made her move on Ben before I came into the picture but she didn't because I quote"I've always had a crush on Ben, Maddie but I know he doesn't like me that way.I'm sorry Jane,I only acted like that cause I was jealous and a tad bit bitter that he choose you over me and angry that I couldn't find a man who could love me like Ben loves you,but am over that now.I'm happy for you guys,I'm sorry it took you almost dying for me to come to my senses."

She used to be married to a man who for some reason beat her and accuse her for alway cheating on him before she finally divorced him.Some men are just plainly stupid.I guess it true,Fat,thin,fair,dark,tall, short, whatever you're made of it won't keep the bad man away.
I and Maddie are now friends and we help each other from time to time and now it's Maddie's turn to help me show my man,how much I truly love him...