Journey of the Heart (Camila/OC)

Chapter Five

A/N: Another update!!! Wooo! Thanks for reading and all. Keeps me writing honestly. Anyways, here is another chapter for you guys, might post another tomorrow with more Camila in it ;) Hope you like this one. 

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Your POV:

I lay awake after another dream. I have started to grow used to them. I start to find comfort in the dreams and I might even confess that I have started to crave them more and more. It's better than the alternative nightmares that sometimes plague the night.

I cling to the thought of the family especially of the older sibling.. Camila. It's as if every time I close my eyes I see those deep chocolate eyes staring back at me with that crooked smile of hers. Was it the alternate life and family that I yearned for? Or was it the dark haired dark eyed beauty that seems to hold my heart with every word she spoke and every move she made.

The birds chirping outside of my window and the sound of the gardeners working on the yard stirred me away from my thoughts. I look over at my window and see the sun shining bright, enticing me to come out of the shadows.

It's been two weeks since I went to visit Tyler's resting place and it's been two weeks since I've made no attempt to leave the confides of this mansion, let alone my room. I've been ignoring calls, texts, emails, tweets, and any other social media I could think of. It's not as if I'm forced to be on bed rest or anything. I was actually even cleared to drinking alcohol, though I shouldn't mix it with my pain killers. I just didn't want to be around people as much as I used to.

"Alex," Charlie knocked at my door.

"Usted puede entrar," I speak again in Spanish. That's another thing that I've picked up from my dreams.

"Gracias," Charlie replies.

He sits down beside me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Como te sientes? (A/N Translation: How are you feeling?)" He asks.

Ever since I've been replying in Spanish, Charlie has insisted on continuing to talk in Spanish from time to time to see how much I've been hiding.

"All right. It's still a killer to breath with my broken ribs and all, but it's starting to become bearable."

"That's good to hear," he leans in and kisses my forehead. "I'll make us some lunch. Come downstairs after you finish getting ready."

He turns to leave but notices the untouched medicine on top of my drawer. He turns back around and gives me a concerned look.

"I told you it's getting better," I sigh. "I don't need the drugs to feel numb."

He nods in understanding and leaves the room.

I stare down at the medicine bottle on my dresser. It continues to call out to me each day. Truth is, the pain is still unbearable.

I get up and walk towards them and hold it in my hand. The temptation to take two, or more, continues to play in my head. Heck, I used to take these when I didn't need to in the past. Why couldn't I wrap my mind around taking them to numb the pain?

In my heart, I know why.

Flashback...

"You know those are going to kill you one day," Tyler says as he downs another one of his beers. I shrug and swallow a couple of my mother's pain killers I had swiped from her bathroom cabinet.

We were hanging out in my basement. It was our own little sanctuary since my parents rarely set foot in here. We had all the essentials for us. Television and music for entertainment. A full bar set in case we wanted even more entertainment. A comfortable couch and other random things us teenagers would find useful during our pass times.

"Anything would kill us eventually," I state as I chase down the pills with a beer. "Why stop the inevitable?"

"Why increase the chances? Those pills aren't healthy for your body."

I laugh at his statement. He was one to talk. Nothing we did was good for our bodies, for ourselves. We did it for the thrill. We did it for the fun of it. I did it for the escape.

"Why not?" I stare up at his concerned eyes. I sigh and roll my eyes as I chase down more beer. "It numbs the emotions I don't want to feel. What's so wrong about that?"  

It becomes awkwardly quiet after my forced confession. I try my best to ignore it and chase down more beer until I've chugged all of it down. In the corner of my eyes, I see that Tyler hasn't lifted his to his lips ever since he started this conversation.

"You don't need those dumb pills," he says.

I turn to him, ready with another snarky remark I was famous for, but before I could even open my mouth it's closed shut with his as he pressed his lips against mine.

This is the first time we kissed, let alone doing anything remotely intimate. We would always flirt and would always make sexual comments at each other, but that was our way of talking and joking around. We never really actually made a move. But here we are, kissing... actually more like making out at this point... anyways, here we are making out on the couch like it was the only thing we knew to do. We pull away for air from time to time but it doesn't take long before we're right back at it. Eventually Tyler pulls away and rests his forehead against mine, his hand slowly caressing my cheek as he catches his breath. 

"Let me numb the pain for you," he whispers, almost too quietly, but we were close enough for me to hear it. "Let me be the pill that takes you away from your pain."

And with that, we became more than just friends. He became my addiction and my savior. Whenever I was an emotional wreck he was there for me in a heartbeat. Whenever I was about to give up, he pushed me through it. I turned to him instead of the pills to feel numb, but eventually things happen and I fell back into habit with pills becoming my new friends. But Tyler never gave up on me.

End of flashback...

I wipe away the tear that had escape from my eyes due to the memories of Tyler. He truly loved me and I was too blind and selfish to think anything of it because I immediately thought we were nothing more than friends with benefits but he was so much more. He was my pain reliever. My drug from reality.

I look down the medicine bottle in my hand once again, thinking about what Tyler would say to me. He would probably call me a pansy or weak. He would probably lay on the bed with me, continuously nagging me about taking the pills until the pills were flushed out of my body and then make his own remedy for the pain. I almost laugh at the thought.

Tyler was right. I don't need the pills. I tossed the medicine bottle into the waste basket and got ready for the day, with pain and all. I wasn't going to be a numb sack of human flesh anymore. If I didn't have Tyler to help me through, then I was going to suck it up and face the world like he always told me to.

I was going to be a fighter.