Ghost Of You (Jalex)

V

Rian's POV:

Without thinking, I throw my arms around him. He freezes momentarily before hugging me back even tighter, reassuring me that he still cared.

"You're alive, holy shit, you're alive," I ramble over and over, tears falling from my eyes for the first time in a long time.

"I'm sorry, Rian, I didn't know what to do and I just left to get a new start. I convinced myself I'd never be good enough for Alex and that you didn't care and so I left. I realized three months in that I messed up, but it was too late. I'd lost you guys, and I'll never forgive myself...," he starts crying as well. So, there we are, standing in the middle of a public space, crying. It was like two long distance friends had finally met.

I eventually pull away, wiping my eyes. "Shall we eat now?" I ask them. They both nod, so we order our food and sit at any open table we could find. "Jack, this is out of nowhere, but do you still have feelings for Alex?"

He sighs, looking at his hands. "More than you'll ever know," he murmurs, barely audible over the chatter in the restaurant. "I couldn't find it in me to talk to him. He probably hates me now. He's gotta be doing so much better now that I'm gone. It's better for him to think that I'm dead."

"Jack-," I say, causing him to look up at me. "I've almost completely lost him."

"W-What does that mean?" he asks shakily.

"He never comes out of the house, he started out barely drinking but now he drowns his emotions in alcohol, he cycles between the same five pairs of sweatpants and wears strictly your sweatshirts, he barely showers, he doesn't eat nearly enough, he breaks down if the littlest things remind him of you- the list goes on and on. Not to be mean, but when you left, you took the real Alex with you."

I see him wiping away tears as I finish, shaking his head. "I destroyed him, he doesn't deserve me. I can't go back to him, I can't for his own good."

"Jack, please-"

"No, Rian. Let's just pretend today never happened." He stands up, telling Zack he'd be in the car before marching out the front doors, leaving me dumbfounded.

"They need each other," Zack says.

"I know, it's obvious, but that won't happen, now will it?"

"I have an idea."

"Oh? Please enlighten me."

"Christmas is in just three days. If I can convince Jack to meet up with Alex by then, this just might work out."

"Perfect, but how would we pull that off?"

"Okay, so I know Jack like the back of my hand. He's my best friend. I know what things to say to get him to agree, and I know he loves Alex. He's stubborn and hard on himself, but he'll come around. You just need to make sure Alex has no idea."

"What do I tell him tonight, then?"

"Does he know why you're here?"

"Yeah, I told him."

"Okay, uh, tell him that I still have to look into some more things, but I'll have an answer ready by Christmas."

"How are you so smart?"

"Genes I suppose." He flashes me a quick smile before putting his food in a box, pushing it to me. "I already ate, plus I have food at home. Give this to Alex for me," he says before standing up, walking out to his car.

Jack is alive.

Alex's POV:

My phone rings, and I pick it up immediately when I see Rian's name across the top of the screen. "What's going on? Where's Jack?" I ask quickly, causing Rian to chuckle.

"Hold your horses there, mister. He doesn't have an answer for us yet, but by Christmas, he promised he would."

"So I have to wait three whole days?"

"Technically two since today is practically over, but yes."

"What if it's bad news?"

"You just have to have hope," he replies. I can practically hear his smile over the phone. "I'm driving, so call me if you need something, okay? Goodnight, Alex."

"Night," I reply, hanging up. What if Jack wasn't alive and I have my hopes up for nothing? Maybe I should stop overthinking. This is some of the best news I've had in years, but I can't help but wonder if Jack is actually gone forever...

I walk upstairs into my large bedroom to go to sleep early. I haven't drank at all, and I'd like to keep it that way. I pull Jack's hoodie off, walking over to where I have another one slung over something. I pick it up, my eyes falling on the small radio that I knew all too well.

~flashback~

'Chasing Cars' starts playing on the small, gray radio in my room after I pop the CD in. I approach Jack, who has his back turned to me as he stares out the window. I wrap my arms around his waist, placing my head on his shoulder, which I could do since he was taller than me by a couple inches. "Care to take this dance?" I ask.

He turns into me, a smile plastered on his face and his cheeks painted a soft pink. "Always," he murmurs, placing his hands on my waist as mine travel to his shoulders. Our dance continues, us growing closer and closer until our bodies are pressed together, swaying to the song in sync as if we predicted each other's every move.

Our foreheads come together as the the chorus plays for the last time. I feel his warm breath against my lips, and I don't hesitate to close the distance between us. The song ends, leaving us in silence, but we don't break the kiss. I didn't want to break it, and he didn't either.

We eventually pull away for air, but just barely. "I love you so much, Alex," Jack whispers breathlessly.

"I love you too, Jack," I reply, feeling him crash his lips into mine once more. He pushes me back against the wall, kissing me almost hungrily, which was new for him. I'm gonna be honest, it was a huge turn-on.

I flip us around so he's the one against the wall, my hands reaching the hem of his shirt. I tug up on it, asking for permission to take it off, which he grants. I let him slip mine off as well, resuming the kiss immediately afterwards.

I pull him to me and lay us down on my bed, me on top of him as I trail sloppy kisses from his lips to his jawline, down his neck and chest until I reach his jeans. I hook my fingers on the belt loops, and he lifts his hips up to allow me to slip them off, leaving him in his boxers. I kick out of my jeans and move back up, kissing his lips as he starts to move his hips under mine.

"Are you sure you want this?" I ask him.

"Yes, I'm sure," he replies, looking back at me with eyes full of lust.

With that, I pull his boxers off as he does the same for me.

Our first time was one to remember.

~flashback over~

Everything reminded me of him. I can't escape it, no matter what. I allow myself to cry, I let myself feel the pain rather than drinking it away. Maybe, if I face this head-on, it'll get better faster.

In the end, though, I just wanted Jack here.