Dreamy // oneshots

"Gross"; Markmin

Jaemin awoke blinking the tiredness from his eyes, his vision cleared and due to sleeping wrists eye level the first thing he saw made him feel gross.

Sighing he examined the puffy cuts which were now scabs, he had never told anyone about cutting his wrists.

The brunette sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, cutting was something he couldn't stop.

One day he felt so useless and felt like the death of his young brother was on him, the only thing near him was a knife and so he picked it up and cut.

The feeling was unexplainable but the pain was numbed, even if he wanted to stop he simply couldn't.

Or thats what he thought, cutting was like an addiction.. no it was like breathing something he didn't have to make himself do it was something he automatically already did constantly.

He had been to the hospital because of it before but learned not to cut to deep, the teenage male collected himself and got ready for school.

Mark a close friend of his waited at the school gates that stupid anxious look on his face that would turn into a face of happiness when the younger showed up.

"Yah don't you have anything better to do then to wait for me?" Jaemin forced a smile of course everything happy he forced.

"Don't you have short sleeved shirts where you don't need to wear long sleeved ones under them?"

"Whatever you loser." Jaemin shook his head and playfully rolled his eyes.

"Gotcha clown lets go find the others." Mark snickered and fixed his hair.

"Pfft so you and haechan can bother each other." Jaemin chuckled walking ahead of Mark into the school before he could even speak.

Seating themselves in the classroom that has yet to be filled, Haechan squeezed his way over to Mark through the maze of desks and pinched the back of his neck playfully.

Jaemin stared off into his own world not even paying mind to renjun and jeno who now arrived joining in, he looked at his wrists noticing how the fabric began turning a deep red.

"Shit.. i mean shoot.." he mumbled a little to loudly catching the groups attention, Mark gently touched hand unconsciously.

"Whats wrong Min?"

"Nothing i need to use the bathroom." Jaemin felt sweat build up on his forehead and pulled his hand away heading to the door.

Mark went to tap his chin in thought and smelt the irony smell, humming in concern he looked at his hand noticing blood on it.

The Canadian stood up and told the others to give him a moment cause he had to do something, leaving the classroom he then scanned the halls.

When his eyes landed on a stumbling jaemin he rushed to him and wrapped his arms around the other's waist tightly, "nana stop walking for a moment."

"Mark i-"

"You're bleeding.."

"I know."

Before jaemin could add more his body slumped and his weight fell onto Mark who looked down at his wrists, the part Korean boy's eyes widened and he called out for help.

🔪

The sound of the hospital's machines beeping filled jaemin's ears when he awoke, he hoped to be in his room but instead he was in a hospital room.

His mother a sobbing mess, his father not there which wasn't surprising due to him always being on business trips, haechan was awfully quiet and messing with his fingers.

Renjun was quietly crying his younger brother chenle trying to cheer him up, jeno asleep in the chair at the end of the bed.

Jaemin didn't want to look in mark's direction or hear his cries so he closed his eyes, in fact he squeezed them shut and kept them that way until the darkness took over again.

When he re-awoke the room was much quieter, Mark's soft snores where the only thing heard and everyone else had gone for the night.

A small but shaky sigh left jaemin's throat, he felt bad and at fault again for making his mother cry.

He was already sitting up his tired body propped up on pillows looking at Mark, tears came to his vision, his body shook from the quiet sobs that escaped his mouth.

"I'm sorry.. i tried not to cut but i failed, and I made her cry twice now.. i made my mother cry, not only her but i made you cry too. And I didn't tell you.. any of you, you guys must not think I trust you but i do.. i just thought i could do this alone.. and that it would get better or that if you guys didn't know it would all be the same.. will it? Please don't treat me different.. don't pity me, do treat me coldly or like a traitor." Jaemin gasped out trying to catch his breath.

By now Mark was awake and gently cradling his head along with his torso, Jaemin's cries didn't stop he wasn't done yet.

"I don't want you to only like me back when i tell you like i planned to tell you just because I'm a being that feels I don't deserve to live, i know I'm stupid and useless but please bring worth into my life make me feel like i have a reason to live."

Mark wet his lips and pulled away wiping Jaemin's tears, he gave the male a few minutes to calm down and breathe before speaking.

"Nana thats gross, one your snot is getting on me loser and two, the way you think of yourself is gross. You have worth and in our friend group although you are not the sun because haechan claims he is you are the glue, the being that keeps it together. Without you our friendship group would fall apart besides you somehow brought us all together." Mark paused seeing that Jaemin was no longer crying.

"I myself like you even before i knew this i liked you and now i like you, actually i lied i love you idiot. Your flaws are what i love the most about you, even your personality is amazing. So don't be gross and talk about yourself like that or I'll really overfeed you my badly made dishes i tend to make even though I can't cook. I'll help you through this I promise you."

"Mark i know I'm a loser and an idiot. But what you sad was pretty gross yourself. Well okay not gross but cheesy at least the last part was."

"Say when you get out of the hospital nana we go on a date so i can call you mine and tell haechan he can't keep trying to make me homo cause I'm only jaeminsexual."

[ew i cringed at myself- lmao srry for the sloppily made chapter and yea I'm dumb but only for you clowns 💕💕💕❤️❤️🤪]