The worst story on wattpad

I hook up with two (2) vampires

I almost started crying, but a strange man next to me cleared his throat super loudly. "Shut up," i snapped. "Im trying to mourn my one true love."

The stranger looked at the severed hand still stuck in the doors of the train.

"Your one true love?" he asks in a weird accent. I know its not british because i cant understand british, but he's talking weird. Maybe he's from Alabama.

I sniffle. "Yeah. his name was kim and he put his nuke dick in harry style's mouth."

"That's pretty gay" he said

"It is pretty gay" I sniffled.

I look over at the guy. He's really pale and his skin has glitter on it. I think he has fangs. "Omg, are you a vampire?" i ask excitedly. Ive always wanted to meet a real vampire.

"My name is edward," he says. "Ive been alive for like, ever."

"Omg, what do you do in all of your free time?!" i ask, super excitedly. I hope he bites me.

"I go to high school."

"and bite babes"

" have a movie franchise called twilight maybe you've heard of it"

"Omg, YES" i say. "But like, ur hotter than the werewolf, jacob. Is bella dead yet? Maybe we could go out." i wink flirtatiously.

"Sorry but you're not my type"

I can't believe I just got proposed to by like 9 different people one of which was my own father (Harry styles) and here I am in front of the vampire from TWILIGHT and HE REFUSES TO BITE ME??

I step on his foot and as he opens his mouth to scream I shove my neck under his fangs and force him to bite me.

"Stop trying to resist me!!" I scream at him. I can feel his fangs nearly puncture my skin.

He knees me in the back and i go flying out of the open window in the train.

"RUDE!!!!" I scream as I'm yeeted out of a moving vehicle for a second time that day. and he didn't even bother to bite me. Stupid vampire.

As I was flying across the pacific ocean, another vampire happened to be floating in the sky, she caught me and looked deep into my eyes.

"I'm Bella" she says. 

Oh I remember Bella! From twilight!

"I just met ur friend edward he's a bitch"
"I know right" she said

Then she bit my neck and i was like ouch

"Am I a vampire now Bella?"

She looked at me all confused. "Who said anyting about vampires, you think I'm a vampire, you dumb bitch?"

I didn't say anything because I was literally bleeding out my neck.

"I'm actually a lesbian" she said

"And now what I've bit you youre a lesbian too that's just how it works"

Then she just fucking dropped me and i started falling down, straight into the pacific ocean.