DEEP INSIDE || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 25 | Leave me

•••

11 pm.

A shrieking sound of impacts startles me in the middle of my sleep, my head aching but my heart racing after a terrible nightmare. I check on my phone to get to know what time it is, my eyes struggling to focus on the screen that seems bright. "Fuck..." seeing the time and missed calls I received from my baby, I force myself to straighten up no matter the horrible pain coursing through my body and get up on my feet while texting y/n, to head towards the front door on which someone is knocking.

< I'm so sorry I couldn't answer your calls baby I fell asleep...😔❤ ]

The message now sent, I take a peek in the peephole to look at who the person behind the door is. I instantly feel worse at the sight of the face I cannot bear anymore.

However, if I put my bitterness and hatred aside, I find myself lost in my feelings. He helped me and maybe even saved y/n, so I don't know what I should do or think of him.

With a lot of reluctance, I grab the handle and open it to him. "What are you doing here?" I lay my hand on the wall while gripping onto the door, my body having a hard time to remain still and not totter with the amount of alcohol still rushing thought my blood.

"Jungkook...I'm...I'm here because of y/n. She told me you haven't answered any of her texts and calls so she wanted me to come check on you. What were you—"

"I fell asleep and just woke up now..." I rub my eyes to try to get my sight a bit more clear, feeling nauseous and on the verge of breaking into pieces out of exhaustion. "You fell asleep...?" he frowns at me, the heat on my face possibly causing a redness to my cheeks. "Have you done something...?"

"No..." I run my fingers through my hair to push them back, feeling a bit hot even with the cold wind blowing on my skin. "Don't lie. Y/n was worried and thought something bad happened again, what were you doing?"

I sigh out of frustration, glancing away but licking my lips. "Listen...I'm grateful for the things you did for y/n but I that won't erase all the shit you did to her. So stop trying to be there for me, I don't need—"

"I'm doing this for her, alright?" his voice deepens as his eyes almost glistened suddenly, showing that he might have been restraining an important amount of emotions inside. "Hate me if you want, think low of me if that makes you feel better but stop talking to me like that. Do you think I'm proud and glad about what happened? That it was what I wanted to happen to her? She's my best friend for god's sake and I won't ever forgive myself for what I caused but can you stop doing that?"

"Oh...so you want me to smile at you when I see you?" my eyebrows raise, stepping forth with one foot to straighten my back. "I have to be kind and talk to you as if nothing happened only because this hurts you? You don't have any idea how hard it was for me and y/n, seeing her so broken and scared to such a point that I felt fucking helpless and useless! All because of an asshole who is way too immature to act like an adult—"

"Don't you think it hurt me?!" he cuts me short to breakdown into tears. "I'm still suffering every day and hating myself because of the mistake I made! I never gave those videos to anyone, I never leaked them and would never have done it no matter what kind of thing that would have happened. I'm a fucking human too and that's painful as hell to always hear someone reminding me of that to just worsen my state! I know I was a bastard but I just want you to stop this...!"

"Did you come here just to whine?" I don't take his bullshit, still having in my mind all the things that y/n had to deal with because of him. "You know what...? Just think what you want...I'm tired of trying..." he lets his last words leave his mouth and goes back on his steps, to go away and let me be.