Comatose

4. A Crack in the Wall

❝It's not the pain. It's who it comes from.❞

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CUATRO:

A CRACK IN THE WALL

Rough fingers crept along the back of her leg to wrap it around a firm waist, waking her from her slumber as they traced her side and found her right breast. A breathy sigh escaped her as his hand sent a wave of pleasure throughout her body, before her grey eyes fluttered open. As contradictory feelings sprouted from the exhausting battle between her heart and her mind, her lips curled into a relieved smile at the sight of his tanned form looming over her.

His blue eyes held a familiar intensity, a meaning that both soothed and aroused her. That smirk that drove her crazy danced on his lips as he kept her bare legs wrapped around him, and it only grew when his hardness teasingly rubbed the warm cavity between them. Calloused hands gripped her wrists and held them on the pillow over her head, before he latched his mouth to her sensitive neck and bit down hard.

It felt like an electric jolt of realization shook her body as his teeth sank into her skin, causing her eyes to snap open as a pained moan left her lips. The brutality of an attack she hadn't been expecting brought her out of her fantasy, and reality came crashing over her by the hand of dread. Her stomach churned with the remains of alcohol as her surroundings switched and his blue eyes became green and the illusion broke, leaving her gasping for breath.

Hayama Kotarõ, the man she had been spending her lonely nights with for the last few weeks, took over and a pang of longing added to the sickness forming in her stomach. Her body tensed as her mind screamed, begging for her to break free and flee — to stop fighting the truth with more mental pain, to embrace her feelings and halt the constant assaults to her bleeding heart.

Her inner contradiction could be seen in her glistening eyes, but it didn't stop Hayama from taking her. She welcomed his roughness, trying to dive into the pleasure having him moving inside her warm depths never truly brought; but she needed the distraction, even if it was in the form of pain.

However, something was different that morning. Perhaps, having taken Aria with her to the club for the first time had affected her in a way she hadn't expected; a short argument she couldn't blame on her had led her good friend to speaking her mind about what she did. Her brutal honesty had been just as shocking, but the amount of alcohol swimming in her blood hadn't allowed Kaiya to think them through.

As her mind awoke from that state of inebriation, Kaiya felt her stomach churn again as her words echoed in her head.

"At least I've accepted my feelings and pain! But you keep hiding from your affliction, giving into temporary distractions and stomping on your heart. Until you have the guts to admit you're a fucking mess, you will keep hurting. Say that after everything, you still love and want that piece of trash that broke you."

Feeling his legs slid against her, demanding yet enjoying her sudden resistance, Kaiya mustered the courage to listen to what her heart kept screaming.

You don't want this, or him. Stop this self-destruction!

And what was she supposed to do? Stop fighting and drown in depression, become a broken doll unable to get out of that hole of consuming emotions?

"Where are you going?" Hayama asked in a lazy voice when she stood from the bed and started searching in the dark for something to cover her exhausted body with.

Not turning to look at him, Kaiya put on some clothes without a second thought and ran a hand through her dishevelled hair. "I'm going to have breakfast and get the reek of sex off. You're going to get dressed and be gone before I'm back."