Comatose

10. Remorse

❝Remorse is a heavy burden, but in its weight, it has the power to awaken men's souls.❞

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DIEZ:

REMORSE

He was choking on his own remorse.

While growing up, Aomine had made many mistakes; probably more than someone would expect from a teenager. However, each and every of those mistakes were never truly seen as something he had to apologize about. Hell, they wouldn't even make him feel like he had done something wrong at all.

Whenever he fucked up, Aomine would just overlook it and expect for everyone to calm down - it was their problem if they didn't like what he had done, not his. And perhaps, it was partly their fault that he didn't learn from them; through excuses, or exhausted by his lack of concern, they would let those mistakes be forgotten.

"It can't be helped; he won't change so it's a waste of energy to try making him see how selfish he's being right now."

That was the most common excuse his friends would use, as if defending him was the solution to the situation. Aomine always took them for granted, his arrogant mind saying they needed him more than he did them.

When he met Kaiya, nothing changed. Or, it didn't for a while. They were young, learning; their hormones weighed more than their common sense, their hearts were desperate to love, but their priorities didn't change. Basketball was more important than a beautiful girlfriend, or a handsome boyfriend.

But as time went by, their feelings grew stronger. Not that it changed anything in the way he treated her, not that it ever made him stop taking her for granted and realize how important she was in his life. For years, he fed off that devotion she showed towards him. Her patience was boundless, or so Aomine thought.

When he left to follow his dream, everything changed. Her frustration showed in the way she spoke, her disappointment only became evident to him when she walked away. Aomine had fucked up, and by the time he realized, it was too late.
Now, as remorse ate away at his stomach and a wave of self-loathing followed his train of thought, Aomine knew he had done it again. And he hated himself for it; he hated hearing her voice break, seeing tears rim her eyes - the agony he inflicted a long time ago, yet one which never truly disappeared.

But there had been something else swimming in her gaze as he delivered his punches, an emotion which had struck him like lightning. She wasn't surprised; she was convinced he would hurt her again.

Desperate to fix his mistake but not knowing how to, Aomine could only spend the day blaming himself for letting his ego get in the way again.

"Aomine-cchi, I need a favour."

The blue-eyed man groaned in utter irritation, but made no intention to move from his uncomfortable position on the sofa.

"Aomine-cchi, I hope you're not drooling all over my cushion!"

Tilting his head so he wasn't choking on the soft pillow anymore, Aomine glanced at Kise and muttered, "What the hell do you want?"

The blond made a face, but didn't voice his annoyance and smiled instead. Familiar with the expression, Aomine readied himself to tell him off.

"I forgot some important stuff in the studio yesterday, but I can't go because... my doctor said I can't leave the house today since the sun can affect my skin the wrong way," Kise rambled, speaking so quickly his lie became evident the moment he opened his mouth. "So I need you to pick up my stuff."