I...killed our mother... so I don't blame you for hating me...I'm also the reason why father had left us...so I don't blame you for ignoring me...But...I wished you would have loved me...just for one time...just once...even if it means my death. If...
The silence within the dwelling was deafening as all stayed still in its place. My hand slid against the wall in search of the light switch. *click!* A blinding ray of bright radiance wakes the living room while I closed the door and removed my shoes to its rightful position on the shelf as I slip on my plain pair of slippers. I take off my school bag and blazer, leaving my plaid skirt and white collar shirt on while I got on with my chores. '*sigh* Ok, let's do this!'. I was seriously familiar with my given chores since I have been doing it throughout my whole childhood. I tied my long hair back and began tidying the area, starting from the living room, to every individual bedroom and bathroom, to doing the laundry, and finally I arrive in the kitchen. I look at the hanging clock on the wall, it's currently 7:25pm. "Oh! Their live starts at 7:30!!" I quickly turned the TV on, which luckily faced the entrance of the kitchen so I can clearly view it with convenience. I see IU just finishing her song, "No! I missed IU's performance! Argh!" I frustratingly walked to the fridge to gather dinner ingredients as the MCs started introducing the next artist of the show.
"Man... That was absolutely epic! Right Taemin?"
"It was spectacularly amazing Kai! That song was actually one of my favourites from IU so I really enjoyed it!"
"Cheating on Shinee, hey Taemin~? I see what's going on~~" The audience squeals.
"Noooo...What are you talking about?? Shinee is my soul *laugh* Anyways! Next up! This group debuted just 2 years ago and has been growing big ever since! Their enthusiasm represents young teenage/adult life, which contrasts against other idol groups, making them so unique in their own spotlight."
"Yes Taemin! I don't know about you but I have a big feeling that these boys have a bright future ahead of them! Give it up for! B-T-S!! performing 'Danger'!!" The crowds cheered and screamed as the anticipation for their performance was intense.
"*cheer!* Go BTS!" I activated my fangirl mode as my brothers waited in their starting positions before the music started playing. The buttery pan packed with sizzling lean meat nearly slipped from my hand as I watch in awe. "Oops." I started concentrating on my cooking, but I continued to move my body through the rhythm of the song. I know the lyrics and choreography of every song in detail and sync. As Namjoon starts off the song, I start singing and dancing too, "You are in danger," my feet glides along the floor like it was ice and my body executes each small move as if the dance was naturally my own. My fingers swiftly turned the rice cooker on as I pass through the storage cabinet to grab seasonings. As the chorus started, my right hand slides up my neck and back down as I throw 7 red tomatoes in the air, slicing it into circles with the knife in my left hand and instantly, they fall onto the chopping board. Picking up the board, I toss them into the hot saucepan, creating a thundering crackling sound as the steam rises high into the hood...
Jimin sang the last sentence of the lyrics, "Hetgallige hajima~" and the song ends as I struck the final pose. The audience and myself applauded like crazy while the lights slowly dimmed, "That was epic! As expected of my brothers!", and the spotlight shone on the MCs.
I continued cooking while listening to the other artists. About an hour later, all the dishes were complete and wrapped while the rice cooker kept the rice warm, ready to eat. "Done!" I make my way to the bathroom after finishing my dinner. Normally, I would sit in the living room to eat when my brothers are here, however, when I'm alone, I sit at the dining table, always imagining what it would be like to sit with them, as a family... I gently removed the concealer on my cheek to find that the red print has vanished. I sigh as I thoroughly washed my face over the sink. I glanced up and saw my drenched reflection in the glass mirror...
"Ugly...", my brothers' words invaded my thoughts as I stared at myself. 'Is this my life? Will it always stay like this?' The memories of the same routine everyday played in my head; I wake up, get beaten, go to school, get bullied, do homework, walk home, finish chores, cry in the shower, and sleep. It repeated again and again as warm droplets rolled from my eyes. I turned away from my reflection and disappeared into my bedroom.The door closed behind me as I slid against it and hugged my knees into a crouched position. I hear the crashing of roaring waves right outside my window since the ocean is only a few minutes away from here.
'I think I'll go for a walk...' I wore my favourite black hoodie, with 'Bangtan Boys' imprinted at the front, over the white shirt and covered my head as I stepped into the quiet night with my hands in my pockets. My eyes were immediately immersed by the full bright moon, almost mesmerised by its beauty. My footsteps echoed through the street as I started to slowly sing while gazing at the night sky: (Song: Shatter me by Lindsey Stirling)
"I pirouette in the dark... I see the stars through me..." The soft wind blows my voice in its direction as the moon acts like a spotlight, guiding me through the dim pathway.
"Tired mechanical heart...beats 'til the song disappears..." My voice roams in the darkness and my mind wanders off as I lose control of my body. I just continued walking into the unknown darkness.
"Somebody shine a light...I'm frozen by the fear in me...Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me..." The stars twinkled like tear drops on a dark blanket as I felt that they have reflected the feelings in my heart.
"So cut me from the line... dizzy, spinning endlessly...Somebody make me feel alive and shatter m-" *beep!*beep!
Suddenly, a blinding light approached from my left and I heard a car beeping vigorously. My eyes followed the light and my body froze, not because I was scared, but because I haven't processed what was happening. I didn't realise I was in the middle of the road and my blank face showed no sign of panic as I gaze at the fluorescent white glow. The sound of car tires braking against the concrete floor was earsplitting, however... the car continued to advance towards me at a fast rate. The world around me went silent. My cheeks felt wet, but I didn't know I was crying...I was still confused, 'Huh?'...
