I...killed our mother... so I don't blame you for hating me...I'm also the reason why father had left us...so I don't blame you for ignoring me...But...I wished you would have loved me...just for one time...just once...even if it means my death. If...
"Dance Hwanwoong! Dance!" All attention was on me as the staff's chants synced and grew louder by the second, "Okay, okay!" I suddenly remembered the dance I had done a few years ago at school, "... ....I'll do a romantic choreography!" I got Xion to the front of the room as the music cued. It was funny as the giggles came when I lead Xion through the embrace and touches but when the view shifted, my eyes were guided towards the pupils of a girl standing amongst the light of the corner of the room.*gasp* The music returned my attention as I was reminded to continue dancing but I couldn't help not feeling stressed while the laughs surrounded my ears. I looked back to find her disappearing through the door. Luckily the music ended soon and I dismissed myself right away.
I saw her slim back and long hair, rocking side to side as she stood tall in her flats, ' Why are you here? Where have you been? Why didn't you come for me?'. Every passing second, my pace quickened and my hand soon felt her delicate wrist, "Y/N..." Her head tipped back as she stared at me with her crystal eyes that I had long to see for all these years, It really is you...", however...her stare was the same as when she was hiding in the corner; the blank expression people give to strangers, "You're Hwanwoong right? Congratulations on your anniversary! The staff is very proud of you!" I trembled in disbelief; she had forgotten about me. ""...Don't tell me you have forgotten about me?" Her brows raised slightly as she pondered, "...I'm sorry...I don't think I know you personally. I'm sure we've never met before." My heart shattered into shards as her words struck through it like an arrow.
"Hwanwoong! What are you doing!? You can't just leave like that! Come on!" One of the staff pulled me by the arm as I was brought back into the room. The spirit of this celebration didn't leave me but I wasn't as enthusiastic as I was before I saw Y/N, 'She did forget about me...No...I need to see her later...but how?' I saw the anniversary bouquet laid next to me while I stared at the writing on the card, 'It's hers...that means...' I called out to one of the staff and luckily, she had known the business name of the flower store.
Third person POV
BTS were in their training room again, on a break as they sat on the floor, their tenuous legs spread apart as a sign of relaxation. "Hey guys," Jungkook sparked a conversation after downing his bottle of mineral water, "do you actually think it was a good idea to not tell Y/N about our past?" Namjoon crossed his legs with his entwined hands supporting his mouth, "I think it's the best option for now. It's giving us a fresh start with her." Hoseok hesitated, "B-but...it feels wrong. I mean we know she isn't our sister..." Their interactions with Y/N was still awkward as they never had actually produced any affection towards her but they're working on it.
Yoongi sat up from his sleeping position, "So what if she's not our sister? We have been with her since childhood so we can be with her now, no matter what our relationship is." Jin who was lying next to Yoongi wrapped his arm around his shoulder, "Yoongi's right. We treated her appallingly before so I want to make up for it. We can all start again." Taehyung mentioned, "We can explain everything once her memories return." Jimin stayed quiet for a bit until, "Do you think... Hwanwoong knows she's here?" Time ticked its endless tock as a heavy tension drifted between the boys.
- Few weeks later -
Y/N POV
Winter has arrived.
I sat in my 'old' bedroom, looking around the well-known yet still unfamiliar room. I flipped through bags and just found out I went to XX school. I looked through old papers and discovered many songs and choreographies I have produced. I opened the bedside drawer, that I haven't yet revealed, and saw many BTS merchandise, albums, and other products. I also found an image of myself at one of their concerts...I looked so blessed, "I must've been a big fan of theirs." In the corner of the small drawer, I saw a USB. I instantly picked it up and plugged it into the laptop I brought along from my floral boutique. A file popped up and displayed all my recordings from years ago, "Omg...". One of the titles absolutely intrigued me as the pointer directly clicked on it, opening up a video...I was sitting in front of a piano. It looked like a school's piano as I was wearing a uniform and in a spacious music room. (Song: Lonely by BOL4)
My young fingers began moving along the keys of the instrument, so naturally I couldn't believe that was me, "At that time, if you held me...At that time, if you warmly covered my shoulder...I wouldn't hate you as much, I wouldn't be as lonely..."
"Baby I'm so lonely, I was so lonely...The times you didn't get to know, Were truly harsh to me..." My agonising voice was in perfect melody with the music as it voiced the feelings kept within me.
"At that time, if your eyes were looking at me...At that time, if I had heard your answer...I wouldn't hate you as much, I wouldn't be as lonely..." The eyes of the depressed girl gazed straight at me as if she was telling me a story. I could see the sorrow on her face, crumpling her attractive features as it dominated the aura around the room.
"Baby I'm so lonely, I was so lonely...The times you didn't get to know, Were truly harsh to me...You're like you always are, You're like you always are...You leave me in sorrow, You leave me in sorrow..." Tears began to fall from my eyes for no logical reason and I instantly shut the lid of the device down with a gentle 'bang' as the palms of my hands cupped my damp cheeks. 'Why did I sound like that? Was I depressed? Lonely?'
"Y/N! Dinner~" Jin's voice sweetly cleared the depressing vibe around the room as the smell of steamy soup and juicy dishes invaded the walls, "C-coming!" Leaving the comfort of my chair, I strolled into the dining room while my 'brothers' all grinned at me from my presence, '*sigh, it's hard to believe I suicided for the sake of these beautiful people. Did I cause a lot of trouble? Was I...hated? But if I was hated...why are they being so nice?' Dinner was peaceful as I listened to what the boys were doing for the week while staying quiet for most of it.
The night continued rolling as I laid in bed, forcing myself to remember since I couldn't sleep, 'I suicided for my brother's happiness...but why? Who is Hwanwoong to me? Who am I really?' The more thoughts that circled my head, the more frustrated I became so I decided to go for a walk. Upstairs was quiet and dark. Assuming that everyone was asleep, I snuck out in my nightgown covered with a knee-length insulated jacket to protect me from winter's night. Though my cheeks and nose were ice red and my breath was visible in the clear dark, I felt blazingly hot.
I strolled through the silent pathways of the road, catching every inch of the neighbourhood, 'This is home.' I had to remind myself that I used to be human, never a living fish. Through the chilly temperature, I wasn't annoyed... I felt calm and safe and even though my head didn't spin or hurt, detailed memories were delivered to my imagination as my heart welcomed them back, from start to finish.
