I...killed our mother... so I don't blame you for hating me...I'm also the reason why father had left us...so I don't blame you for ignoring me...But...I wished you would have loved me...just for one time...just once...even if it means my death. If...
Feeling the stress, I decided to take a bath to relax my heavy shoulders.
With every piece of fabric stripped off my body, I felt cooler—head thinking much clearer. Today's heat had burned the life out of me. Wrapped only in a towel, I waited for the water to fill the bathtub as I stared at myself in the mirror, 'Ugh...Everything's happening so suddenly. First, father's truth, then, Marina's confession of being my brothers' mother who had adopted me, and now this. What should I do?'.
I suddenly focused on Marina, 'What would mother say?'. I remembered the final conversation with her on the beach, 'She seemed shocked when I mentioned Jungkook asking such a weird question so... she wouldn't want me to be with them in that way, right?'. I furrowed my brows, 'It's only...between the 4 of them right...?'
*creak* At the sound of the door opening, I immediately held onto my towel, "W-who's there?". A chuckle, "Y/N~ you're always forgetting to close the door,", it was Jimin, "Are you perhaps doing it on purpose?". I jolted from shock. "J-jimin. N-no I'm not!", I stuttered in confusion, 'I swore I closed it...Wait... ...did he just say 'always' ?'.
"E-eh Jimin...why are you coming in?". He smirked, "You let me in.". He stalked closer as I stepped back, "N-no I didn't.". I felt the freezing marble wall behind me, "Feel content, Y/N. You're lucky I didn't come in to devour you before.". His lips came to my ear, "You...looked really sexy in purple~but you look even more sexier now.".
'!!! He saw me.' His fingers entwined with the wisps of my hair, "J-J-Jimin, w-what are you d-doing?". I was going to move out of his presence but he placed his arms on both exits, locking me in. "J-Jimin?". He projected a deep chuckle, "...I love you Y/N..." My eyes widened as I averted my gaze from his, turning my head away from him, "Ah hahaha, I-i love you too Jimin.". He immediately flipped my head back to face him as his finger curled around my chin. His eyes contained slight hints of pain, "I'm not joking...I seriously love you.".
He gently pecked me on the lips with a subtle bite on the lower lip before parting. "Be careful, Y/N~Make me your man or I'll actually eat you up the next time I see you like this.". I grip the towel harder. "You'll be my lady~", he added before exiting the door, closing it.
My back slid against the slippery wall, 'Not one more. *gasp!* Don't tell me Taehyung and Jungkook have the same in mind.'. My body shivered, 'T-they all like me from a man's perspective...?'. I shook my head, pushing away all of my thoughts, 'Stop thinking nonsense, Y/N. You're being very cocky right now. A group of handsome idols loving you. Dream on. They're only joking.'
That night, I slept, unsure of what I had just experienced.
...
"Yah, Y/N. You look dead. You ok?" Jennie asked, sipping on her warm beverage. "I'm ok.", I said half-heartedly, staring at the steam evaporating off my coffee. "Oi, oi, oi. This isn't you. Come on. Tell me what's happening with you? I'm a busy woman. Consider yourself lucky to be invited by me today.". I gripped onto my cup in guilt, "S-sorry Jennie. You invited me out and yet I'm giving a terrible attitude.". She clicked her tongue, "Mmmhmm. Now speak up, girl! What's up?". I lifted my head to look at her properly, "Y-you still love my brothers, right?"
She stared at me before sighing, "Is this about them?". I nodded. "If I must answer, yes. But...I've chosen to give up.". My mouth widened, "W-why?". She fiddled with her sunglasses, "Well, because of you. Did you realise that when they look at you, it's as if you're not siblings but lovers?". I flinched as she rested her cheek on her palm, "Are you sure you're just brothers and sisters?". My lashes lowered, "I'm...actually adopted so we aren't related.".
She snapped her fingers, "Aha! I knew it!". I straightened my back, "W-what?". She smirked, "The look they give you meant that...they're seriously in love with you and knew you weren't related! *sigh* no wonder I...", she paused as I bit my lower lip hard, "Don't worry, Y/N. I don't hate you,". She covered her mouth with her hand, "You're my friend after all...". I froze before smiling brightly, "Sorry Jennie. I didn't quite catch what you said. Could you repeat it?". She glared at me, "You heard me! Like hell I'd repeat it!". I chuckled.
"*sigh* you...so let me guess...They confessed?". My eyes widened, "How did you...?". She smiled mischievously, "I'm smart, Y/N. And this is my advice... ... ...go for it!". I began choking on my own spit, "*cough!*cough!* W-w-what?!". She shrugged, "What's so wrong? A group of handsome idols is crushing on you AND you aren't related so...why not?"
I was lost for words, "B-b-but I-". She interrupted me, "You don't know who to choose because you love them equally and it'll ruin their career, therefore, you're stressed and confused.". Smirking at my dumbfounded reaction, she continued, "I know it all, Y/N~". Jennie twirled her cup in her hand; the liquid spinning continuously, "You're an amazing girl, Y/N. If you could handle my past behaviour, I know you can handle this situation."
"...Thanks Jennie.". I slowly sipped on my aromatic coffee as she smiled, "Go with your heart, Y/N, but of course, from their career perspective, you'll need to back away from being with them. The media will give them a hard time.". I nodded. Jennie's eyes found their way to the window as she looked out, "Why don't you enter the entertainment industry? You did go to our school! Weren't you aiming to become an idol?". I looked in the same direction, "It's been too long. I don't think I could anymore.". She smiled, "Give it a go. You never know~". I hesitated.
"Hey," Jennie spoke again, "You'll do great." I smiled at her encouragement, my eyes twinkling, 'Jennie is really kind after all~'.
...
In the afternoon, Jennie soon left for a photoshoot. '*sigh* I don't want to go home yet.'. I didn't want to face them yet. I did leave a note saying I was meeting with Jennie but... going home now... was too awkward for me. "...Y/N?", a husky voice called out to me. I stared at the person, "D-director?!". He immediately strolled towards me, his grey hair illuminating under the warm sun, "You're alright! Am I seeing ghosts? You were confirmed dead when you disappeared!". I cracked a small giggle, "W-well, a lot happened, but I'm here!". He nodded. We began chatting day-to-day topics; how are you, what did you do, etc.
"Have you signed up to any companies?". I shook my head, "My idol dream is gone, director. It has been too many years.". He raised an eyebrow, "Miss Y/N, you do realise that you are talking to the director of your drama series and your school principal?" I nodded, "Y-yes sir! B-but that was before. Now, I'm just an ordinary florist...".
He sighed, "What a waste of precious talent!". I winced in guilt, "I'm not having it! You're becoming an idol!". My eyes bolted out of their eye sockets, "S-sir! I'm not cut out to be an idol!". He waved his hand, "Nonsense! You were and you will be! No 'buts'!".
I sighed in hopelessness, 'Director is the same as ever. Always getting what he wants.'. I reminisced the time he kept me acting after I had told him I wanted to quit. We headed towards a small park, where we settled on a timber bench. He began to plan my whole career out; suggesting companies, arranging classes for all areas in entertainment. "Y/N! You don't have to worry about a thing, just practicing. Leave the rest to me! I'm your manager now!". I smiled, "T-thanks, Manager-nim!"
He looked up at the evening sky, "You soon will be soaring through the sky.". My heart beated a steady rhythm as I, too, stared at the rose-gold sky, 'I had forgotten the feeling of becoming an idol. This...is going to be so exciting!".
