In The Morning I'll Be Better// newtmas

13

Thomas' POV:

I close my front door behind me and walk to the pavement, my eyes still brimming with tears. The fresh air is helping my head, though it's becoming muggy from the sun rising toward it's highest point. The call to sleep has lessened slightly but has instead been replaced with uneasiness. I think about calling Minho to tell him about what happened last night but I expect his response will be to forget about Newt; I can't. Not now, anyway.

I'm walking down the pavement with no destination in mind. I just want to be out of the house. I want to be doing something entertaining, maybe go on an adventure or two. Something so that I don't go out of my mind because of my thoughts.

Despite knowing what Minho will probably say, I pull my phone out and find his name in my contacts, ready to call him. I've already admitted enough to my mother, what harm would there be in telling Minho? The obvious problem is that Minho will be stupid and spread it around the school, landing both Newt and me in trouble. Not to mention the embarrassment of it.

I sigh through my nose and press the call button anyway, placing the phone by my ear. It rings once, twice, three times. Then Minho picks up. My hand is already shaking. 

"Hey, shank, what's up?" Minho croaks, voice rough.

I swallow and say nothing. I can hear Minho breathing down the line but I can't seem to decide how and where to start. Or if I should start at all.

"Thomas, you okay?"

"No," I finally squeak out. 

"What's wrong because I have a terrible migraine and would appreciate a nap."

I clear my throat and Minho continues, "But I guess you're more important so spill."

"Last night, something happened and I don't know if I regret it or not..."

"Who did you lose your virginity to?"

I jump at the question but I don't know what else I expected from Minho.

"No one, Min. As far as I'm aware I'm still a virgin."

"Nevermind, Thomas. Maybe next time."

I proceed forward, ignoring Minho's exasperated tone. "This has something to do with Newt."

"Oh," he mumbles, "Did he hurt you?" His voice rises, "I swear if he did, I'm going to--"

I'm fed up with interrupting people with the embarrassing truth.

"I kissed him, Minho. Right on the lips. And it lasted for at least a minute."

Minho is silent long enough for me to walk down half a street. For a second I think he's hung up and honestly, if I were in his situation, I'd probably do the same. Finally, he speaks.

"Why?"

I let out a wild laugh. "Why else? The moment just felt right to do it. I felt confident from the alcohol and Newt was just right there in front of me. I felt horny and he was there, panting and open and desperate."

"What the shuck, Thomas!"

I rub my face with my palm, letting out a stuttered sigh. Minho hates me. He's finally found the one thing he can legitimately hate me on. Because I kissed a boy while in attendance with a homophobic school and Minho doesn't want to be friends with someone like that. 

"I'm sorry," I murmur, "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Thomas, you're finally growing up! You're experiencing life the way you should be."

"What!" I gasp in shock. I readjust my phone so that it rests by my other ear to make sure I hear him clearly, "You don't hate me then?"

"Who the shuck do you think I am? Of course I don't hate you. Don't you think I've been in the same situation as you after a few drinks? I've kissed plenty of boys. Older ones. Younger ones. Boys I can't stand when I'm sober. It's just what happens."