Thomas' POV:
I don't think I've been so confused before. One half of me wants to hate Newt for messing with my emotions but the other half is caught up in Newt's confession and is intensely falling for it. I didn't realise how much I wanted him until I was walking away and he was calling my name.
He's hurt me over and over again but I know it now- he has changed. The first day we met he abused me with words but now he's apologising for any slip-up he produces. He's admitted it himself. He's finally drawn the courage to show the real him to me. With everyone else, he's been hiding it from them because he'd been worried they'd think he was weak.
I don't care what he says; Newt's the strongest shucking boy I've ever met.
I want to turn around right now and correct everything but I know we've been backwards and forwards in this mess of a relationship and I can't deal with any more arguments today. I'll leave it until Monday to face the pain of not having Newt again.
So, I return home and spend the rest of this miserable Saturday in my room trying to revise. I haven't bothered to remove any of my wet clothing. I'm too tired to peel them off my skin and I know they'll just dry on their own soon.
My mum hasn't bothered disturbing me either and I feel as if she knows something happened. Why do mothers always have an intuition about issues in their kid's lives? It bugs me that she can work it out but it also makes me feel better knowing that she's always going to be looking out for me when times are rough; nothing's been rougher than this.
*
It's Monday morning and walking into school sends my heart into a beating frenzy. My nerves are so on edge I want to run straight back out of the building but Minho finds me in the corridor before I can. I'm being dragged to my first science lesson of the year whether I want to go or not.
"Your black eye's looking better. How does it feel?" Minho asks as we walk.
"It doesn't really hurt at all now."
"Cool."
The conversation feels flat and I don't think it's because we have science next. I think Minho is still caught up on what I admitted to him during our phone call. I don't know if my feelings toward Newt are affecting our friendship and I don't want that to be the outcome.
"Hey, Minho, you know you're my best friend, right."
Minho sighs, "Thomas, for the last time, I don't hate you for liking Newt."
I hiss for him to be quieter, then whisper, "I never said I liked him, I only said I liked kissing him."
"How dumb can you get, that's practically the same shucking thing."
I frown as I realise he's right and I can't even find the strength to retaliate. We've stepped into the classroom and taken seats by the window, waiting for the class to fill and the lesson to start.
"Never mind that now," I finally dismiss, "I'm still worried that you're acting off after our phone call. Is everything okay?"
Minho shrugs. "Same old. I'm just not feeling great that's all."
"Min..."
Minho sighs at my persistence and says, "I'll talk to you later if I can but not here."
I'm not totally satisfied with that response but it's better than if he were to keep it completely quiet. I learnt the hard way that keeping things locked up isn't always the best way around problems. I hope Minho realises that as well.
"Anyway, I'm gonna' take a nap before the teacher notices. Night," Minho says and proceeds to turn his head away, resting it on his arms.
I roll my eyes and look away just as another person walks through the door. I almost jump out of my seat as Newt walks into the class and takes a seat at the opposite side of the room at just the right angle that I can see his face and he can see mine. He looks tired and when he meets my eyes, I can see his expression change to a look of pain and he quickly averts his gaze. My heart plummets to my feet. I need to fix all my wrongs and I don't care how I do it.
The teacher enters the room then. It's Mr Hatton. The teacher that tried- and failed- to stop me from leaving when I had the fight with Aris.
As the lesson begins, I don't even try to focus; all my attention is on Newt. I can't help staring at him and at every opportunity, I try to gain his attention, glad the other students in the class are ignoring me. Yet, Newt seems to be following their lead. I cough loudly hoping he will look up but there's not a hint that he's noticed- Mr Hatton does.
"Thomas, no communicating across the classroom!"
I sit back in my chair and huff, frustrated, but try again anyway. I bounce in my chair, pull funny faces, even try strange hand movements but nothing makes him turn his head, though I can tell he's at least noticed my attempts.
As the end of the lesson draws near, Newt still won't look at me. I need a new tactic to gain his full attention.
I rip a piece of paper out of my book and think of something to write. Once I've gotten it down, I sign my name, fold the note up and stand, before pretending I'm going to the front of the class to collect a textbook. On the way back, I take a detour by Newt's desk and as sneakily as possible, drop the note onto the desk by him, hoping he doesn't rip it up straight away.
When I sit back down and glance over at him, he has the note in his hand and is reading it. He looks up at me then, a small smirk pulling at his lips. It surprises me because I thought he'd hate me for how I called him out. I guess he really does like me.
That thought sends my heart jumping.
Suddenly, though I don't know when it happened, Mr Hatton is right in front of Newt's desk, snatching the note from his hand. I almost stand and protest but I hold my tongue as firstly, how dare he snatch something from Newt like that but secondly, that's my note! His eyes scan the scrap of paper and then they find me, anger lighting up his heavy brow. He strides over and grips the paper tightly between his fingertips.
"Thomas, I want a word after the lesson."
My face burns in embarrassment as the class stares at me and Minho finally looks up from his nap, making everything worse. I can already see where this is going and I suspect the punishment won't be nice. But the worst thing at this minute is the look of worry in Newt's expression; if only I'd known it would take this for him to finally face me.
"Yes, sir." Is the only thing I can get out.
YOU ARE READING
In The Morning I'll Be Better// newtmas
FanfictionThomas and Newt have been in the same British school for over four years but never interacted with each other. However, when Thomas gets into trouble one day, Newt tries to help. It becomes a rollercoaster ride of emotions as their friendship develo...