Note to myself

Note to myself - December

Don't love me unless you're sure.

Don't care for me unless you're caring from the bottom of your heart.

Don't approach unless you plan to keep me forever.

I'm more complicated than what you see from the surface.

Now I see, I have fallen for someone I shouldn't have.

I have fallen for a man who slowly gets involved in my life.

I have fallen for a wolf.

The wolf himself knows he doesn't deserve me yet he still shows his love and care. Telling me that we are friends and he wants to protect me from all the bad influences of the world. But the truth is, he influences me the most. The love and the care he shows is what I have been looking for. A man that I will like to claim. A man that I will like to stay within my short life. Perhaps the Gods are testing me. Trial for my weak heart, telling me that not all man are good and not all man is capable of love.

My heart is broken today. Broken because you said you wish you can love me but you can't. And the truth is from the bottom of my heart, I wish you can love me too. You made me feel alive and comfortable in my chaotic life. Perhaps this is all just a spark of fireworks. Probably after a few weeks, you will forget me, probably you will soon find someone else to fulfil your time and your desire. I wish I could be the one, unfortunately, I can't take any hurt anymore. So I do what I do the best, escape from you.