Involved with the Bad Boy

Chapter 20

"What are you doing mom?"

I asked staring at her, not knowing how to calm her down. She was still holding the sharp broken piece to her inner wrist and I hurried to where she was. I attempted to take the glass from her but she pushed me to the floor makingme hit my forehead on the bed. When I stood up to stop her again, blood was already pouring from her wrist and I couldn't help the tears from falling down my cheeks.

"Mom why are you doing this to me? Just why?"

I said in between sobs as I stared at her bleeding wrist. Why is she making me go through all this? She passed out right there and then and I quickly called the doctor. I dragged her gently to the bed and layed her down. I got the first aid kit and started treating her raw wound so she wouldn't get an infection. I then cleaned the floor while waiting for the doctor to arrive.

I sat on one of the benches in the park and just stared at the flowers in front of me. What else am I supposed to do?

I stayed home until Doctor Valdez finished examining my mom. He told me he found a large amount of alcohol in her blood. He said that the alcohol is affecting her nervous system and if she doesn't stop drinking it could lead to her having various mental health conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder or obsessive compulsive disorder. If that's not enough to fuck your life up then I don't know what else is.

Why does God give my hopes up so high and then just crashes them down again in one go? Not to talk about how bad dad felt when I told him I wouldn't be coming over anymore. Then there's Gail and Carol. Our friendship depends on this and I screwed it up. I don't know what to do anymore.

I wiped away all the tears streaming down on my face with the back of my hands. I hate crying. I hate feeling so weak. I hate my life. I hate the way I always pretend I'm fine even when I'm not.

"Are you crying?"

A little kid's soft voice said from beside me. I turned to look at the kid just to find an adorable looking girl. She was also sitting on the bench that I was sitting and I was surprised I didn't even hear her approach.

"Hey, how long have you been sitting here?"

I asked forcing a smile and hoping my voice doesn't come out as horrible as I feel.

"Not long. Why are you crying?"

She responded.

"I'm not crying little princess. My eyes are just hurting that's all. I forgot my specs at home and I can't see quite well. That's all."

I lied smoothly. When it comes to kids, I'm so good at directing their attention from dark thoughts. Words just flow out of my mouth automatically.

"Are you sure because you don't look like you were specs to me."

She said staring right into my eyes and I swear my mind just went blank. I was expecting her to just buy my tale of specs but little did I know this child wasn't having any of it.

"How old are you?"

I was tempted to ask.

"My mom tells me I'm seven years old because my birth month is yet to come and my brother says I'm eight because this year twenty nineteen minus my birth year twenty eleven equals to eight  but I feel like a ten year old. No, I feel like a nine year old so to answer your question I'm nine."

She replied non stop and I couldn't help but chuckle at her little speech.

"You're eight."

I smiled at her warmly.