The Difference

Chapter 3

Eric begins to fumble with the heat control on the car before pulling out into traffic. 

"Are you going back to the apartment?" He asks.

"Yep," I respond.

"The same one I dropped you off at that one time your car wouldn't start?" He smiles, remembering how frustrated I got that day.

"Yeah, same place," I say, coolly. 

"Why are you being so loud?" Ava says from the back seat. "Keep it down. I'm trying to sleep," She adds, leaning her head against the window and dozing off again.

Eric looks at me and I look back as we share a quiet laugh.

"It's really obvious you haven't been out in a while," Eric comments, cutting our moment short.

"What do you mean?" I say, curiously

"Well, you literally were gone like two hours and you're pretty drunk. On a school night nonetheless," he adds. 

"I'm not even that drunk anymore," I defend myself. "And I don't have school tomorrow. I'm working. I took my finals early, remember? God, we literally just talked about this."

"Even better, you're going to show up hungover tomorrow on the day Austin works? That's going to go over well with our most strict manager, Rosemary," he shakes his head and clenches his jaw. His chiseled side profile suddenly doesn't look as dreamy as it used to.

"What are you, my dad?" I ask, annoyed.

"I thought you'd appreciate someone caring about you," Eric adds, speeding up the car as his voice raises. 

"Yeah. Because you clearly care for me so much."

"More than you care for me," he says quietly.

I can't help but laugh at him for saying that before I grow even more annoyed and comment, "If you really think that, you must be clueless."

"And how am I clueless?" He raises his voice at me.

"Because you seriously think there is nothing between us, that we are just friends and the way we act is normal! You drove across town to pick my drunk ass up because I was too stupid to plan ahead. Every time we are together you can't help but smile and you are always staring at me!

"I am not!" He says, looking at me.

"Eric, you're doing it now!"

"That was just me glancing over so I could look you in the eyes and tell you you're wrong!" He pulls the car up the short driveway to Ava and I's apartment. 

"This seems private, so I'm gonna go," Ava says,  jumping out of the car before I can even say anything. 

"You're unbelievable," I say, trying to gather up my things quickly so I can leave.

"There's nothing between us and I can prove it to you," Eric says, locking the door.

"Speak for yourself Eric because I'm done hiding how I-"

Suddenly, he leans over and runs his hand along my cheek. He tilts my chin toward upwards and I look at him with apologetic eyes. Then, he kisses me. For a second, I can't believe it's actually happening. For so long, I dreamed of this day. I gently place my hand on the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair. He pulls away for just a second, long enough for me to let out a smile. He lets go of my cheek and says one thing.

"See?"

My eyes fill with tears. I hate being the girl who can't contain her emotions when she's feeling sad, but I can't help it. A single tear rolls down my face and I quickly wipe it away.

"Why would you do that?" I look at him with such disgust he looks genuinely sorry.

"To prove that..." he trails off.  "Okay, maybe I felt something, but it's a kiss. Either way, I'm not ready to pursue something serious," He lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry, I just don't want to hurt you."

"Well, it's too late for that," I say, trying to open the door, forgetting Eric locked it.

"Come on, let's talk. I don't want you to cry. It's not like I haven't considered it! But I'm just in a really tricky place with Becky, and-"

"Eric, please stop," I say, biting my lip to try to stop the tears.

"She was just the worst, always taking me for granted, and well, I just don't want to rush into anything," He takes my hand and looks at me with those perfect blue eyes. "She was awful to me, you just don't get it," he adds.

"You have been playing games with me for God knows how long, Eric. You said months ago-"

He cuts me off, "Jesus, Rosemary, can you try to be a little understanding?"

"Let me out of the car. I'm done here," I say, sternly.

"Not until we sort this out! You're not even listening to me!" He says, hopefully.

"You toyed with me this entire time! Do you know why I never talk about my ex anymore? My ex who I was so happy with when you and I became friends? Well, Eric, he cheated on me. And I knew you were having issues with Becky at the time so I didn't want to make it all about me. I didn't tell you and I continued to listen when you said that you and Becky were going to work things out and then, she dumped you. And when she dumped you, I had your back through everything! How many times did you call me in the middle of the night to vent? How many times did Austin catch us talking at work and only reprimand me for it? I told you I had feelings for you a few months after it happened and you told me you were still hung up on her so, again, I put your needs before mine and told myself it was no big deal. Here we are, closer than ever, and you continue to play all these mind-games, flirting with me one day and the next talking about Becky and quite frankly, I've had enough. I am no longer at your beck and call. I'm done waiting for you to man up and accept that not everyone is going to hurt you. I'm done waiting for you, Eric," I say, taking a deep breath. I don't bother wiping the tears from my eyes as I wait for him to say something.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea he cheated on you," is all he says. I remain silent. "Rosemary, please.."

I turn my head to look at him quickly and I can see tears forming in his eyes. He reaches for my hand as I say, "Let me out of this damn car."

Eric unlocks the car and I open my door immediately. I get out and slam the door shut quickly. As I walk towards the apartment, I hear him get out.

"That kiss meant something," he yells after me. I turn around, hand on the unlocked apartment door, and shout back, "Now, it doesn't."

I faintly hear him say, "I just need more time," as I shut and lock the door behind me.

Ava is waiting for me on our living room couch with two glasses of water and a large blanket. I curl up next to her, taking a sip of water and I lean on her shoulder. 

"He has never talked about me the way he talks about her.. and she's the one who broke his heart," I say, as Ava hands me a tissue.

"I know. Believe me, I know."