The Difference

Chapter 1

I look up and I see him smiling down at me, and at this moment there is no doubt in my mind I am where I'm meant to be. He interrupts my thoughts by saying, "Rosemary Moon, there is nothing I want more than to kiss you right now."

"Please do," I respond.

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Suddenly, I'm awoken by my best friend, Ava, returning to our apartment after an early morning workout and coffee run.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Ava whispers.

"Yeah, I was having that weird dream again," I say, sitting up in bed. Ava sets her purse down next to me as she sits at the edge of my bed, handing me a Caramel Macchiato.

"Here. About the prince?"

"I don't know if he's a prince or if he just looks princely," I say, unsure of myself. "Thanks for this. I'm going to need it today. Nothing like working retail during the holiday season."

"I'll cheers to that!" Ava says, hitting her cup against mine. "But hey, it's going to be worth it one day. I know your job isn't ideal, but once you finish college in the spring, New York will be waiting for you! Me, on the other hand, will be here. Missing you dearly."

"I know. It's just a matter of making it to graduation. I feel like I'm constantly stressed out about exams, or work, or boys. I just wish I could get my mind off of everything. But instead, I have to get ready for work," I sigh.

"Rosemary, what time do you get out of work today?" She questions me.

"6 o'clock," I answer.

"Great. We're going out tonight!"

"We are?" I say, following her out of my room.

"Yes! You need to just unwind and have fun. We're young and you're too stressed," Ava says, judgment on her face.

"Fine! Fine. We'll go. I have to get ready for work but I'll see you later. Meet me at the store?" I question as Ava nods her head. Walking back into my room, I grab my old worn-out jeans I dedicated specifically to work, a sweater, a vest with the store's logo on it, and a pair of boots, quickly getting dressed. I tie my hair up in my signature pink velvet scrunchie. Then, I note the time and head off to work knowing at least my long-time coworkers who are more like family at this point can distract me from the stress of being a full-time college student and part-time retail associate for a bit.

After a long workday, I'm thrilled to clock out. I punch my code in and wait for Eric, as usual. Eric is my best friend, who I've also had a crush on for as long as I can remember. It seemed to be a minor crush until we became closer after ending our relationships at the same time. Since I tend to romanticize everything, I guess I truly knew I had real, genuine feelings for him ever since he saw me crying in my car one day over the breakup before we even became as close as we are now, and instead of judging me or freaking out like most guys do when a girl cries, he just looked at me, gave me a huge hug, and talked me through how I was feeling. I thanked him for helping me stop crying and he said he had to because he didn't want me to crash my car on the way home. He described it as "his duty as a law-abiding citizen."

"You ready, dude?" he asks me, clocking out.

"Yep," I say, as we head to the door together.

"You good? You were in a daze for a second," He notes.

"Yeah, I'm good!"

He stops, making me stop as well. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I swear I'm fine!" I reassure him.

"You just seem so.. stressed lately. Like when Austin piles a hundred tasks on you twenty minutes before we close, but worse," Eric notes.

"I'm still recovering from finals, I guess."

"You finished with a 3.8, you should be celebrating!"

"I know, actually I am!"

"How? By being grumpy all day and moping around all night?"

"Eric! Don't be so harsh. Actually, Ava and I are going out tonight!"

"Oh yeah? That'll be nice. You haven't been out since you were dating -"

"Yeah. Not since him. But certain old habits can be good, right?" I cut him off, not wanting to hear that name.

"That's a good way to put it."

We arrive at our cars and do our usual beat-around-the-bush goodbye for a few more minutes. That is, until Ava pulls up and notices, watching quietly from her car.

"I guess I should let you go then," Eric starts.

"Yeah, I don't wanna keep Ava waiting," I add.

"No, not at all. Is it just Ava that's going?"

"As far as I know, yeah."

"Ah, so girls' night?"

"Girls night, indeed," I say, glancing over at Ava's car. She waves and her signature bracelets glisten in the darkness. I turn back to Eric and he has on his usual award-winning smile. "What?" I question him.

He looks like he is about to make a comment, then closes his mouth and looks down. "Nothing."

I touch his arm to regain his attention, and he meets my eyes for a second before saying again, "Nothing."

My smile fades as we do the same old song and dance as always. "Alright. Well, goodnight. I'll see you next time we work together, I guess," I say as I try to hide my disappointment.

"Yeah. Friday. Goodnight, Rosemary!" He calls out, and I wonder if he is clueless about my feelings or just isn't interested at all.

I grab my bag from the back of my car and walk to Ava's jeep, giving a lazy wave to Eric as he drives off.

Throwing the bag on the floor in the passenger seat of the jeep, I slump into the seat and buckle my seat belt. Ava grabs my shoulder and gives it a sympathetic pat.

"Man, when you said he always looks like he wants to kiss you, I thought you were just being your usual dramatic self but I actually saw that," she offers.

"Am I crazy or something?" I ask, annoyed with Eric's oblivion.

"Not at all. It's all him. His body cues speak a whole different language than he does," Ava says, as she starts to drive downtown.

I begin to change my clothes in the seat, pulling off my ratty work clothes and slipping into light jeans, a maroon sweater, and tall, black suede boots. "I just don't get him. He is fine flirting with me all day but the second I ask him about it he completely shuts down. It makes no sense! And he knows how I feel, so why can't he just admit it, too?"

"I don't know, Rosemary. He is a little younger than you. He deferred from college and he's trying to find his way. Maybe it's time to give him an ultimatum? Tell him he needs to be with you or stop flirting," she suggests.

"I know, but I hate confrontation. The last time we talked about "us," he was still hung up on his ex and I really don't think I can listen to another story about how awful she was to him. It makes me just want to-"

"Alright, alright, relax. I know she's awful, but that's beside the point. If you seriously can't confront him, then how do you expect to have a relationship with him?"

I pause. "By flirting with him.. obviously. And I don't think 3 months really constitutes a huge age gap," I add.

"No more talk of Eric. He's not ruining girls' night! We're going to have a nice dinner, get some drinks, and get your mind off it. Deal?"

"Fine. No more Eric," I add.

"Eric who?" Ava questions, as we hop out of the Jeep and head inside, our elbows linked together.