Always Hated(yesung)

chapter 4

~time skip:3 weeks later~

YESUNG POV

The new sing has been released and for now,my voice is still normal without any problems or haorseness.
We are having a group feast. It is near our dorm so we just walked there.

Fans were all chasing the other members,not me. It hurts my pride and self esteem. I already have a very low self esteem,how low can it go.

HEECHUL POV

We reached the barbeque restuarant and started partying. We booked the whole restuarant today so we were the only one there. We were all eating well and happily until we heard a coughing and muffled crying sound.

I turned to my left to see a silver head bent over. He was shacking and he covered his mouth. He stared up,coughing. Something i saw shocked me the most.

Red liquid was leaking out through his hands. Is that blood? He stood up and ran to the bathroom. I followed him in curiosity.

He ran into a cubicle but did not look it properly. I pushed the toilet door open to see him crouching down,coughing out red fresh blood. After he finished,he said loudly" I thought the doctors said that i will only experience symptoms a few months later,why ia it so early."

I wondered what he was saying and asked" What do you mean about symptoms?" He turned around and looked at me in shock before running away."

I left the toilet and saw him running out the restuarant.

YESUNG POV

I ran back to the dorm and entered my room. I took the pill for when i cough out blood. I wanted to go to the hospital and ask but it was already nightime.

I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to sleep but i couldnt. I went to the bathroom and stared at the mirror. My face was as pale as a ghost.

I guess it is because of the medicine and the coughing of blood. I felt very cold and light headed. Am i going to die soon? I grabbed onto the sink,tight. I broke into a sad laughter. God hates me too.

I trued to sing a few lines from super clap. Luckily,my voice was still normal. I prayed" Please dont take my voice away,laryngeal cancer."

I closed my eyes and continued to pray. My voice is the only important thing i am left with. Fans only like my voice,not me. If i lose my voice,nobody will like me at all.

My family members all hate me. My members hate me.  My fans hate me. I hate myself to. I hate acting close to my members on stage. Our next live is a week later at paris. I am going to show my true self.

But can i stay alive till next week? My symptoms have started showing. And heechul,he is going to dig up the truth of why i coughed up blood.

I pulled my hair. Why is so many things happening in my life!?
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