It's 3 in the morning when I decide to get a glass of water from the kitchen. I pull on pair of sweat pants and quietly open my bedroom door to peer down the dark hallway. Then, I tip-toe down the steps and once I make it downstairs, I head towards the kitchen. That's when I hear it. A loud knocking sound. I look down one of the many dark hallways and there's a strip of light escaping a doorway.
My curiosity gets the best of me.
The knocking becomes louder as I venture down the dark hall. I approach the door and once I peek through the crack, I wish I hadn't.
It's one of the many guest rooms. And the knocking sound is coming from the headboard of the bed smacking against the wall each time Mr. Parker plows into the housekeeper.
Shock glues my feet to the ground. Her
moans are muffled by his hand covering her mouth as he thrust into her from behind. Based on the look on her face, i'd say she's enjoying herself.
Someone taps me on my shoulder twice. I jump in surprise. Camila standing in front of me once I turn around. My eyes quickly adjust to the darkness. The two of us stare at one another for a long time. She comes closer getting on her tippy toes to whisper in my ear.
"You shouldn't be sneaking around the house at night."
This house is just full of secrets.
"Neither should you."
I'm afraid she might've caught me in a moment of weakness. A sense of nostalgia hits me. Camila stands in front of me dressed in nothing but an over-sized t-shirt with her nipples poking through the fabric. I see the old Camila right here and now. She reaches out to touch me. I slowly back away until my backs hits the wall. The knocking in the room continues. Camila presses herself against me, her breast against my bare chest,her eyes looking up deep into mine. I can no longer deny myself.
She leans in to kiss me and I don't stop her. I let it happen. And when I feel her lips against mine, it feels right.
____________________________
3 years earlier.
Her eyes always turn the darkest shade of brown after we have sex. That's another thing I'm going to miss when I have to leave for UCO next month.
"Uh oh."She sits up on my bed, her hair fanning her breast in wild waves.
"What?" I turn to look at her from the edge of the bed. This is what we usually do. I let her sleep in my bed for a couple hours before I tell her she has to go back to her room for the sake of not getting caught. But since Dad and Sinuhe went to visit some relatives for the weekend I let her sleep in here all night.
"You're thinking. That's usually not a good
thing," she whispers as she crawls out of the sheets and sits next to me. It's hard to concentrate on my thoughts when she's sitting here completely naked.
"I..I just-"
"Sip it out," Camila laughs but not hard enough to mask the nervousness in her voice.
"I just wish this could last forever, you know?" Its rare that I tell Camila what I'm thinking. Mainly, because it's always negative.
Camila smiles.
"It can."
Oh, Camila. Still stuck in fantasy land with a false sense of reality. It's sad. I shake my head and place my hand on her thigh.
The last thing I want is her getting upset about me crushing her fantasy. So, I feed into it.
"Yeah, I guess it can," I breathe.
She swings one leg over my lap to straddling me and I give her what she wants. A warm body to fuck. The more I tell myself that, the easier it's going to be to leave her.
Camila (present)
I'd forgotten how much I'd missed the taste of his lips until now. It feels unreal, his body against mine. How have I survived 3 years without him? I want this moment to last forever.
The hall is dark but my eyes quickly adjust. The obnoxious banging and moaning coming from one of the many guest rooms continues. I ignore it. All I'm worried about is him.
His hands grip me by the shoulders roughly as he turns his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping past my lips. I caress his face, his beard tickling my finger tips. He's changed so much from the last time we touched. As my fingers explore him, I noticed differences. His hair got longer. He's got a lot more muscle on his chest and arms. Shawn is a man now. And I want him even more.
I'm surprised when he grips me by the waist and turns us around so that my back is pinned against the wall. The impact knocks the wind out of my chest and into his mouth.
Then something terrible happens.
He backs away from me.
I begin to panic.
Shawn looks to the floor and closes his eyes before he presses a hands against his face. It looks almost as if he's fighting a war against himself.
"What is it?" I whisper.He shakes his head.
No. No. No.
"I can't.." Shawn sighs.
Trembling in fear, I walk closer to him and wrap my arms around him. This can't be happening. I've waited too long, this isn't right. He made me wait so long!
I kiss his neck, trying my hardest to convince him to take me right here in this hallway.
He's slipping through my fingers, I can feel it.
"Yes, you can." I take his hand and place it between my thighs, praying he'll cave.
I gasp when he pushes me off of him roughly. We stare at one another in the dark. "I can't do that to her."
The words anger me. He can't do that to her? That bitch? My hands clench into tight fist.
"What is wrong with you?" I say louder than I should considering we're in an echoing hallway.
"Keep your voice down," he whispers looking in the direction of the occupied guest room door.
I don't notice my tears until I feel them roll down my face.
"3 years, Shawn," I say, my voice hoarse and shaky.
My words have several meanings. 3 years since we've touched, I had to wait 3 years to see his face.
"I know-"
"No, you don't," I whisper. "You have no idea how I felt when you left. Don't try telling me that you know.
Shawn stood there saying nothing. Just staring at me in an awkward silence.
"I tried dating when you left. But the only guy I wanted was you...I love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you"
"Are you fucking hearing yourself?" he asks in a harsh tone, being cautious of his voice. "Yes, Camila! I fucked up. But I'm not sorry for what I did. What we were doing...."
I wait for his response.
"It was sick," He finally breathes.
I was taken back.
"Sick?" I nearly die. "We grew up together, Camila. That night at the cabin, that kiss...it was never supposed to happen. I had to break it off."
There's a pain in my chest. I quickly wipe away the tears on my cheeks.
"So that's it? You want me to just move on with my life and forget everything?"
"Yes," he says coldly.
The banging finally stops. We both realize we don't have much time.
"I can't" is all I can mange to say. He doesn't reply he turns around and walks away leaving me behind. Like he always does.
It's a lie. After all we've been through, he doesn't want to be with me? I hate him. I hate him for using me. I hate him for not wanting me. All of this for Ivy? I start to see red. Ivy doesn't know what she has coming.
