I protect you
and you do nothing for me.
I shelter you
and you do nothing for me.
I love you
but you will never love me.
sometimes
I get this idea
that you might actually care for me.
it's when you hold me above you
and rock me back and forth
and make me wet
that I think
maybe
this could be real.
but it's not,
and it never will be,
because I am an umbrella.
I'm an umbrella
and you're a human.
and we can never be together.
so I'll just sit in the closet
under the stairs
where you keep me,
and hope
that harry potter will come along
and transfigure me into a human.
GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME OH MY GOD
