Boundaries

Falling.

I had gotten used to pain.

Physical pain, that is.

I can't say the same about emotional pain.

I had become immune to it.

Until now, I guess.

As Sebastian was pounding his fist into my face, I couldn't help but feel so damn guilty about what I did to Jo.

And guilt wasn't something I felt often.

Another emotion I had to close myself off from.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do what I do.

I knew Jo had a fucked-up life, at least from what she told me.

Perhaps we were more alike than I thought.

But still, I couldn't drag her down with me.

I was a sinking ship.

She came to London to start over.

I needed to give her that opportunity.

I should've never started walking her to class in the first place.

Why the fuck did I have to be so obsessed with her?

Why am I so bound to this girl?

I thought I was doing the right thing, but for who exactly?

Maybe she could've been a good thing.

A good fucking thing compared to my bad thing.

Compared to me.

She could've brought me out of this darkness, this life I've chosen for myself.

But instead, I walked away from her before she could say anything else, giving her a taste of what it feels like to be left behind.

Like I was.

In the short amount of time I've known Jo, it seems as though I've hurt her countless of times, even when I didn't realize it.

Even when she didn't show it.

I wish I could take back what I said, but if there was truth in anything I said, it's "I'm not that kind of guy."

I find irony in the fact that my name is Hero, yet I'm nothing but a villain.

I hadn't even realized that Sebastian backed off, until I woke up in a pool of my own blood behind the couch with the lights off.

I slowly sit up, my head beginning to spin from the loss of blood as I search the room for any of the guys.

I see a shadow in the corner, and I squint my eyes to get a better look.

"Felix?" I groan before spitting out some blood that got into my mouth.

"I thought for sure he killed you this time." He sighs before standing up and making his way over to the fridge. He opens the door and pulls out something wrapped.

He begins to unwrap the item as he makes his way over to me and I realize it's a piece of steak that was defrosting when he kneels down in front of me.

I wince when he places the meat over my cheek and mumble a 'thank you'.

"What did I do this time?" I ask, honestly not remembering what caused Seb to attack me.