Silently Falling in Love: Lucky Charm THIS IS THE EDITED VERSION

Chapter 4 - Life Back East

I woke up groggy from the alcohol and I started feeling sorry for myself. I missed all of my friends on the East Coast. If I had been back home, I would have called one of my friends and gone to their place instead of checking into a hotel by myself. I wasn't close enough to anyone here that I could pour my heart out to. The closest people in my life here were my in-laws and for this situation that didn't seem appropriate.

I missed my friends. My closest group of friends in NY had been in my life since my twenties. Katherine had been my friend since Junior High. When you've had friends for so long it's easy to be with them – they knew everything about you the good and the bad. No explanations were needed on why you felt a certain way. They knew all your quirks, prejudices, biases, perspectives, mistakes, and fuckups and they didn't judge you. You didn't have to be politically correct and you could say whatever you wanted and use whatever curse words fit your mood. Even though I'd met many nice people in CA, they didn't know me or my history. It was hard to develop deep friendships in a short amount of time.

I stared at my cell phone and looked at my list of Favorite phone numbers, all my friends were in there. Ali, Charlie, Katherine, Tina, and my brother Rakesh. Rima my sister was in my favorites too, but she wouldn't understand.

If I called anyone it would be Katherine, she'd known me the longest. We went to junior high school together, then college and both of us moved to NYC after college. This was the first time we'd been apart. I knew I could call her, and she wouldn't judge me, but it was the middle of the day, she'd be at work.

I missed my best friend Katherine. Katherine and I grew up in New Jersey and we had been sharing our secrets to each other for years; all of our insecurities, our pranks, breaking the rules together. Katherine's Italian Catholic family was like my Indian Hindu family. She completely understood the concept of family – the positive and negative parts of it. In both cultures' family is a huge part of who you are – the big family get-togethers, nosy aunts and uncles who love to interfere, overprotective parents who can be extremely conservative. There were so many times we covered for each other so we could explore beyond the boundaries they gave us. The biggest difference in our families was the food, and that I went to temple and she went to church. Katherine was the person I shared most of my first experiences with – my first crush, the first time I got drunk, the first time I had sex, the first time I fell in love. I needed her now more than ever.

But I wasn't ready to verbalize that my husband was having an affair and that meant the end of our marriage.

With no answers, I finished the bottle of Chardonnay. I might as well as numb myself a little longer since no clear path was emerging in my mind. After finishing the wine, I went back to bed and drifted away again.