Desperation (Anxceit)/(Prinxiety)

Part 16

Readers: desperately awaiting the next update
Me: still stuck on the same paragraph I've been writing for months

*A/N: hey peeps! I will be posting updates for how the writing process is going on my message board. So if any of you want to see how it's coming along (or just listen to me rant about writer's block), you can look at my message board every once in a while. Or you can follow me if you want since it'd probably be easier.

Warnings: mentions of Jeffery Dahmer, mentions of zombies, ANGST, mentions of death, hopelessness, mentions of making last days memorable (I'm so sorry) lemme know if there are more

Please don't murder me ;^;

     Deceit flinched as the door was slammed open and cold winter air flooded into the room. He sleepily blinked up at Remus, who entered dramatically and strutted over to where Deceit was lying. Deceit jolted upward, but regretted it when he swayed in place, his vision blacking out as heat flooded his head.

     Remus placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him from falling. Deceit blinked a couple times when he could see again. Remus was looking at him in a rare display of worry. It was an affection he only showed to Deceit and Roman. They were his two best friends, even if Roman would have preferred otherwise.

     "You ok?" Remus asked, tilting Deceit's head up to look him in the eyes with surprisingly gentle hands. Deceit nodded slowly, his head still ringing slightly.

     "Iron deficiency," he explained. "Remus, you need to go back. I told you, I'm fine." Remus crossed his arms defiantly and pouted.

     "No, I'm going to take care of you, whether you like it or not!" Deceit let out a long sigh and rubbed his temples.

     "I'm fine. You need to go back before they realize you're gone and call the cops," Deceit pleaded. Remus stomped his foot.

     "Why won't you let me take care of you?" He demanded like a child wanting a toy from the store. Deceit looked away.

     "It's not worth you getting put in jail," he mumbled. Remus scoffed.

     "Of course it is!" Deceit's eyes snapped back up to Remus's, shocked. "You helped me calm down plenty of times when I got mad after my dad kicked me out. And you know how I get when I'm mad. I could have killed you, yet you stuck with me. You're my best friend, Dee. I'm not going to let you keep hurting yourself when I can do something about it."

     Deceit didn't know he had been crying until he felt a tear tickling his chin. After that, the dam broke and he stumbled forward, burying his face in Remus's shoulder, sobbing. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, Remus rubbing his back comfortingly as he cried. A few months ago, he wouldn't have been comfortable being within five feet of Remus. But now he was his only source of comfort. That seemed like so long ago. It all seemed so simple back then. He thought back even further, to his earlier years, and he cried.

     Everything was rushing in his mind as he sobbed. He cried for his childhood spent pining away after someone who wouldn't even glance his way until middle school. He had never tried to make friends, all his energy spent trying to look nice to catch Virgil's eye. He had never made time for himself.

     He cried for his mother, who had been in the same situation he was in right now for years after his dad left. He was in elementary when it happened, and he didn't remember much of his dad. His mom died when he was in highschool, shortly after he had gotten his first job. 

     He never let himself mourn her until now. He had always pushed it to the back of his mind, scared it might happen to him, too. But now he allowed himself to let it sink in. He could face it now that he knew he would go out the same way. Somehow it wasn't so scary anymore. He felt closer to her now.