Who I Really Am (A Remus Lupin Love Story)

Chapter Twentythree

"Being in here isn't going to help you." I hear Remus say, and I look up.
"I know. But I can't help it sometimes." I tell him as he walks across the room and sits next to me on the couch.
"You need to let it go. Let them go." He takes my hand while he says this.
"I... I can't."
"Yes, you can."
"I don't want to."
"Bria, you have to. You'll only miss them more..."
"I know. I told you, I can't help it."
"You have to try." He insists.
"I am trying, Remus! I am! I'm trying my best! But sometimes people can mess up! Especially me."
"Stop insulting yourself."
I sigh, and then I get up from the couch, looking around the Room of Requirement. I don't want to argue. "Let's go, Remus." I say, and he quickly follows me out of the Room before I can change my mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Is Noble... Dating Remus Lupin?"
"Is Remus Lupin holding Noble's hand?"
"Oh. My. God."
"Remus is dating her?"
"How'd she convince him? I say she either Confunded him, or put the Imperius Curse on him. Someone should investigate this."
The whispers are all around us down the hall. I wouldn't say we were dating. Though Remus might say otherwise. He decided to hold my hand today on the way to Charms, and I didn't object. Everyone seems to notice it while we walk down the hall. Like there's spotlight on our hands, or a flashing sign above them. Look at us, look at us.
My cheeks are flushed. I'm not used to being in the spotlight like this. Remus is ignoring them completely, staring straight ahead. I try to do what he's doing,  but I fail. Instead I glance around nervously, like someone is going to force us apart somehow.
Well, Remus was ignoring them completely. Until James shouted, "You're dating her?"
I looked over at Remus, and he wasn't staring straight ahead anymore. Instead he was looking at James, anger in his eyes and expression. "Why do you care, James?" He asks coldly.
James shrugs, and then casually replies. "When and how did this happen?"
"Again James, why do you care?"
"Curiosity."
"Remus." I say, looking at my watch, "We're going to be late." I don't want him to fight with James...
Remus narrows his eyes at him, and then says, "Let's go, Bria."
And then we continue walking down the hall, hand in hand, ignoring the stares and the whispers around us. It's not what you're probably picturing: Us skipping down the hall happily while everyone whispers and stares, without a care in the world like in those Muggle movies. No, it wasn't like that.
We didn't skip, we walked. That would look stupid, and I would feel stupid. We weren't happy; Remus was still mad, you could see it. When he stared straight ahead the anger was still in his eyes, and his jaw was still clenched. I felt horrible; Remus was getting a lot of horrible things being said about him because of me. He can't be friends with the other Marauders anymore (not that I mind, but I'm sure Remus does). And I feel horrible for doing it to him.
We cared. At least I did. The whispers got to me, they said horrible things. Some of them really hurt. They said I Imperiused him. I Confunded him. Blackmailed him, threatened him, tortured him. I'm not horrible. I think, If you actually talked to me you'd see that I'd never do that to Remus. 
Even when we get to Charms and sit down they still whisper. I tune them out, doodling on the corner of my parchment while Remus gets his things out. It used to be a bit awkward, sitting next to Remus in Charms. But now I don't mind. Except today, it feels awkward.
I wish he hadn't held my hand in the hallway. I thought it was nice, but look what it's done. It's made things worse, when they were just starting to get better. But that's my life, I guess.