i'm not the prettiest flower but i'll do

if you have to think about the answer doesn't that reveal how you really feel?

mood: say you do- tei shi

Tuesday October 9th, 7:03 am

Harry was hopeful. He didn't see Louis yesterday in the morning or at school and it worried him deeply. He may not know the relationship Louis had with his cousin, but he just knew it affected him greatly. Charles told him they were close and he could only imagine the bond they had. It wasn't a hidden fact that Louis didn't like the company of others and  that he pushed everyone away, so when Charles told him that he was close to the cousin who had passed it shattered him completely not only because it's devastating to lose someone you're close to but because that was probably the only person Louis was close to— the only person he'd confide in when he was feeling up for it. And now he was alone. Well, not necessarily; Harry wanted to be there for him but it didn't seem like Louis wanted that.

As he promised, Harry wasn't being as annoying as he usually was and he was dying. He so badly wanted to stay with Louis on Saturday and visit him Sunday and talk to him on Monday when he didn't see him at school but he let it be. Yes, it was hard but he couldn't keep suffocating Louis with his presence if he wanted him to breathe. So for the past couple of days he bit his tongue and stayed away— he didn't even leave any notes for Louis so it was a huge accomplishment.

So when he was ready to go to school this morning he was surprised but so so exultant to see Louis. Despite him dragging his feet with his head hanging low, it was nice to finally see him after days of him being invisible. Harry felt like they time traveled back to the beginning of the school year. But they hadn't and Harry wasn't going to let their progress slip back to that. Maybe heading across the street to be with Louis wasn't the best idea but he did it anyway because Louis was sad and that in itself is unacceptable.

"Hey Lou," Harry greeted hesitantly.

"Hi," Louis mumbled with a quick sniffle following after. Harry resisted the overwhelming feeling to hug and comfort him because he wanted to give him space to breathe.

"Didn't see you yesterday." Louis just shrugged his shoulders, making no effort to have a conversation. "Was worried about you."

Louis paused in his tracks keeping his head down. He wanted to hide away, crawl under a rock and never show his face again because this was embarrassing. He was still crying and upset about his cousin and Harry must think he's being ridiculous. Turning to face Harry, he slowly lifted his head up and once he caught a glimpse of Louis' face he split into two. His eyes were glassy and swollen, burning red. There were deep bags under his eyes and his eyes were droopy.

"Louis," Harry gasped as he reached forward to cup Louis' cheek but he stepped back and diverted his eyes to the pavement under his feet. Screw letting Louis have space, he simply could not bear the thought of letting him be alone. This boy was hurting so bad and Harry not being allowed to try to make him smile was infuriating. "Please don't push me away. Let me be here for you."

"I can't do this right now or maybe ever, I don't know. I just-" he paused to give himself time to think and calm his breathing. He was an emotional wreck and he didn't want to cry over a stupid boy who he was barely friends with. "I can't put effort into anything right now. This is really hard for me and I think it's best if we just went our separate ways."

Harry knew it was the right thing to do— to give Louis the space he wanted but he didn't want that space to be forever. "For how long?" Harry asked with so much disappointment in his voice.

"Indefinitely," Louis replied as he looked back up with tear filled eyes.

"No, you can't. Please? I'll give you the space you need but I don't want that to be forever."