What She Forgot

Chapter Eleven

welcome back to the present and sam's pov! i know, i know. i want more of seth hutchings. but let's get to know more of the magnificent glory that is sam wilkinson ;)

<>

Wake up.  

I sat beside Ariana's bedside, gripping her hand like my life depended on it. God, it hurt so much seeing her like this. It was like she was gone already. Her skin was pale and gaunt. Her cheekbones stuck out unhealthily. She was hooked up to all of these machines. The music they made from all their beeping didn't hold anything close to her voice. Worst of all, she wasn't her. Ariana Brooks wouldn't be Ariana Brooks without that defiant glimmer in her eye and that expression that looked like she was always on the verge of laughter.

That was the girl I had fallen hard for. 

This girl, the one who's hand I was holding now, was the empty version of her. The hurt I felt that she could die any day wasn't close to this pain. The hurt I felt from her leaving me wasn't even close. The hurt I felt from not being there to save her from the accident wasn't close. The hurt I felt from her not being able to be her was worse.

A tear slipped out of my eye. It could happen. She could die right now. I would never hear her humming as she walked down the hallways at school. I would never hear her voice singing strongly as she walked down the hallways of her house. I would never hear her musical laugh again. I would never see the smile that lit up her entire face. I would never see that defiant glimmer in her eye. I would never be able to pull her into my arms again. I would never see her again.

The world would lose her. And she only deserved the world.

"Shit," I whispered to myself. My feelings for Ariana were too strong.  I shook my head and rested it on the pillow. I cried silently, letting the hurt I had been holding it fall out with the tears. Boys cry too. We just don't like it to be shown.

A knock sounded. "Hey, Sam?" 

I quickly wiped my eyes and turned my head. Peyton smiled sadly at me, her blonde hair resting around her like a halo. "Shawn's here. He wants to see Ariana."

"Oh," I said quietly. I pressed a kiss to Ariana's hand before standing up. I followed Peyton out of the room. 

My vision tunneled when I noticed a familiar face standing beside Ariana's door. I recognized the wavy brown hair and kind brown eyes immediately. All I wanted to do was grab a fistful of Shawn's shirt and punch him. But I knew Ariana wouldn't want that. I stiffly nodded at him. Shawn tried for a smile but it ended up being a grimace. I shamelessly stuck my middle finger at Shawn's back as he slipped into Ariana's room.

With a sigh I sat into the chair beside the door. I put my head in my hands. I didn't want Shawn anywhere near her, but he deserved to see her. My head jerked up when I realized I could hear what Shawn was saying to her.

"Hey, Ariana. It's Shawn. I'm taking a short break from my tour to visit you. I hope that's okay with you," He said. "I wanted to tell you how sorry I was. For messing up and hurting you so badly. I'm so sorry. God, Ariana, you don't even know how sorry I am for hurting you." 

For a second I feel a flicker of pity before anger takes place again. If he hadn't been an idiot we wouldn't even be in this situation. Asshole. 

"I wanted you to know that I meant it when I told you I loved you. I did. I still do. I love you. I want you to wake up and for us to get past this. I want us to be together again," Shawn confessed. After a pause, he added sadly, "But it's selfish of me to want that. Why am I saying that while you're dying? I'll make a deal with you, Ariana. Just wake up. Wake up and I'll leave you alone. I won't fight for your heart. Just wake up. Please." 

I turned away from the door. I couldn't listen to this anymore. I couldn't listen to Shawn as he pleaded with her to wake up. I knew he was doing the right thing, telling her he wouldn't fight for her heart anymore. I knew I should be doing the same. But if I've learned one thing from this, it was that I didn't want to lose her.

When you wake up Ariana, I'm going to fight for your heart. 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

ooh dramatic chapter, eh ? ;)

xoxo,

   mikailaxryan