The Frozen Rose

CHAPTER EIGHT: Arguments

In the morning, Elizabeth decided she would not sleep in. If she was alone with her thoughts for too long, a certain person would overwhelm them, and she did not want that. So she got up, got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Andrew was already awake, reading the newspaper while enjoying his breakfast – and the silence that soon would be broken. She joined him, and a few minutes later, lady Anne did the same. The three of them looked at each other when they heard two pairs of footsteps walking down the stairs, and eventually Thomas and Mary entered.

"Mother," Mary said when she had not even passed through the door, "ask him where he has been last night."

Thomas sighed. "Mary, you are such a tattletale," he said as he sat down on his chair. "Can you never behave like an adult?"

"Of course I can," she responded, "but why would I if that means I do not get you in trouble?"

"You do not get me in trouble," Thomas argued. "Mother has not even asked the question yet."

"Thomas, where have you been last night, and why would it get you into trouble?" lady Anne asked.

Before he could say anything, Mary answered it for him. "He has been with a lover."

"And why would that bring you into trouble?" their mother asked.

"It would not," Thomas responded while giving Mary an all-knowing look. She responded by sticking out her tongue to him.

"Every unmarried man has lovers, Mary," lady Anne told her daughter. Everyone's head turned to Andrew who was silently reading his newspaper, seemingly unaware of what was being said around him. "Every normal unmarried man, that is."

"I like to think I am quite normal, Mother," Andrew responded while keeping his eyes on the paper. "But yes, I am not normal when it comes to lovers."

"Tis not fair," Mary complained as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Why can men have lovers and women cannot?"

"You speak as if you want a lover," Elizabeth said.

"You speak as if you want to be a whore," Thomas challenged her.

"I do not want to be a whore!" Mary shouted loudly in response.

"Mary," lady Anne told her severely. "Mind your words, and your manners."

"But Thomas said it first!"

Lady Anne did not respond, so Elizabeth voiced what everyone was thinking. "He is a man."

"That is not fair," Mary repeated. "Just because he is a man, he can do and say more than me."

"If you do not want that," Elizabeth told her, "then you ought make him see that."

The conversation took her back to when she and William had spoken of a similar thing. She had made him see that she was not weaker or worth less them him because she was a woman. She was able to make him believe that they were worth the same to each other and that he should respect her like she respected him.

He always had, so Elizabeth could not complain. He had even said – more than once – that he believed her to be worth more than him, for she was stronger minded and more confident. He had told her how he was surprised that a lady like her would talk to him and fall in love with him. He used to look up to her, he had said, and he did not feel like he deserved her. Yet he had never taken it for granted and always enjoyed her company. Would he still think the same, she wondered.

Andrew closed his newspaper and laid it on the table. "Elizabeth, I would like to speak you when you are finished with your breakfast."

"That sounds serious," Mary responded exited. "What is it about?"

"Nothing that matters to you," Andrew answered, then nodded to Elizabeth. "I shall be in the study."

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Like usually, Elizabeth was one of the first to arrive at the theatre. She had hoped it would calm her down to cut things with big scissors, but she did not find it as relaxing as she had hoped it would be. And when she saw William passing by, she could not help herself but storm out of the room and follow him. She grabbed his arm and turned him around to look at her.

"You tell my brother that I should put my anger aside while you are being a coward and cannot tell it yourself! How am I supposed to take that? Just smile and think o, he is a nice man, he is trying to solve everything? Do you really think that you will get my forgiveness if you are too frightened to ask for it yourself? You prove how much of a coward you are and you hope I forgive you?"

The anger she had been keeping inside since Andrew had spoken to her that morning, came out harder than she thought it would. She did not understand this man, and that was what infuriated her most. He ought to stay away from her, making her not relive the past, instead of entering her life and asking her not to think of him.

"I thought it would make it easier for you if I was not the one telling you to be reasonable," he responded, his anger clearly eager to burst out as well.

"Reasonable? You want me to be reasonable when you never are? You come bother me and are then surprised that I get angry with you! And then you ask me not to be?!"

He opened his mouth to say more, but Elizabeth did not allow him – she could not. "If you truly do not want to make me angry, then do not come into my life!"

"You pretend like I meant for this to happen," he reacted, clearly angry now. "You pretend like I knew you would be here and like I had the choice to be here. I did not, and I am not going to decline my work because of you."

"Then do not expect me to be kind to you. Or better yet, do not come to me. Leave me alone with my pain and memories, and do not restart it all. If you see me, walk the other direction so that I do not see you. When you talk, be quiet so I do not have to listen to your voice. And do not let my brother do the things you ought to do, for you would gain my respect and kindness easier if you deserve it."

He crossed his arms and looked at her, his face calm. "So do you want me to leave you, or regain your respect and kindness?"

She let out a mocking laughter. "Now who is pretending. Do not tell me I have a choice when I do not. I know you love torturing me, and annoying me. I know that when you see me, you will come in my direction, and when you talk, you will shout so that I hear you. For that is who you are. An annoying coward who always does what he should not do, and who messes up the best things he ever had. You-"

The rest of her words were left unsaid as he cupped her face with his hands and pulled her close until his lips pressed down on hers. She felt sudden outbursts of fire in her body, heating up at his touch. His lips moved over hers like she was used to – like she had missed – while his hands found their way to her hair and her neck, pulling her closer and never wanting to let go. She felt his tongue beg for her lips to go open, and she gave in, gladly accepting his taste and passion, finally taking what she had been missing for so long.

His lips were just as warm as she remembered, his tongue tasted the same as years ago. His touch was exciting and his body familiar, just a little taller than she was used to. His arms had more muscles, and overall he felt more like a man than a boy, and it excited her even more.

But the familiarity did not only bring back memories of the many times they had kissed in the past, but also of the reason why they stopped doing so. With the fear that she would never stop if she did not now, she pushed him away and slapped him on his cheek.

"Kissing me will not convince me either," she lied before turning around and walking away.