[中/eng] pentagon imagines & ffs

a. sunflower🌻 [kinhongseok] (2)

you probably know what happened next- we exchanged small talks- i even got his phone number. of course, i hardly saw him again, but we would smile at each other when we met at the corridors- that same warm smile that brightened my days.

after some times, i heard he went to a famous university to continue his studies. as expected, he was included in lots of different social circles and thousands of girls crushed on him. i didn't stop contacting him though. i started messaging him everyday to exchange small chats like friends- it was awkward at the beginning, but then i started to act more comfortable around him and told him more about myself: my troubles, my worries... as the caring person he always had been, he helped me through the hard times by encouraging me all the time. i believe nothing can withstand my passion and persistence. we became closer- i would call him hyung, and he would just call me by "hyunggu" or "yah!" we would even catch up with each other at coffee shops. he was a good friend to talk to.

then one day, everything changed.

i seem to be enjoying my time with him so often that i forgot what is cherishing. i forgot how hard i worked to start this precious relationship. he suddenly disappeared to nowhere. i couldn't contact him, and his friends said he dropped out from the university. i was worried sick, because he wasn't that kind of person who would suddenly run away from his normal life- he loved his life, and he cherished it. i didn't know where could he be, or what happened to him.

would he be... dead?

he didn't promise me everything- he didn't promise me anything. unlike the romance fictions, no words of love were sworn, and no pledges of forever were taken; it was just a blessing from the sun. the daily reminders and supports had been the sunlight that sparkled on me, and that was enough. but now- a simple greeting seems to be too much to ask for.

can i ever see him again? days passed by, and i missed the light that had shone in his eyes more and more. i couldn't bare with the days without him- it's too much for me, to wait endless and wander aimlessly. i cried every now and then, until tears dried up and my screaming echos cooed me to sleep. i have no tears left, and i was too tired to feel anything. i just want to sleep forever until he appears in front of me again.

i remembered that he loves- loved singing. that was my dream too. for him, i told myself, i have to enter an entertainment company, and to sing with the best voice to the people he originally was to sing to- twice as enthusiastically. i want to sing for him. to him. about him. maybe god pitied me. i entered that company successfully. that was the first time i felt energy since that day. for a second. it was not happy, but relieving- only.

if the sun died, what is a sunflower? it could be just a flower that meant nothing anymore. it has no one to look up to, and no one to chase after. it became a flower, just a normal flower- that lives without chasing the sun, just like the others. it was no longer the sun's child, nor that it got extra love or care from the warming sun. of course, the sunflower dies shortly after. it could no longer hang its head up.

uhh i'm sorry for this lame story- didn't think much before i typed this,, just randomly came up with thoughts and then decided to write it this way ahah :,( the part three is probably the last part???