[中/eng] pentagon imagines & ffs

a. sunflower🌻 [kinhongseok] (3)

the alarm has rung to wake me up; it was another grey day without hongseok. heartbreaking, hopeless, and helpless. it's annoying to live another day without him. i wanna move on, but i can't. i just wanna lay down and do nothing but to think- what if he's still here? i remembered how he liked to call me a sunflower, because i was always looking for the sun when we hang out. i was a sunshine boy in his heart, but now my days are clouded, and my blood was burning. sunflowers, what a beautiful flower. but he doesn't know he was the sunshine to my sunflower. what if he's still alive?

but there is no "what-if"s. because it's real.

i opened the door to the practice room when i arrived the company. it was full of people- new trainees like me were standing in a line, facing a number of instructors. i didn't dare to look up because i was the latest to go in- i'm scared. i lined up at the end of the line when they started the roll call. "adachi yuto?" "here." "jung wooseok?" "arrived." "kang-hyunggu?" i woke from my dream of thoughts and replied doubtingly, "h...here." then the instructors mumbled something about today spending time with the sunbae trainees. i didn't pay much attention- i couldn't care less. as long as i can debut and perform maybe once or twice for him, i'm out of here. i don't care about my dream anymore- his dream wasn't fulfilled either. i just want to sleep, and runaway from all of these.

the sunbaes stepped forward and introduced themselves. some sounded cold, while others sounded serious. until some guy at the middle talked with a soothing voice. "yah- why are you lowering your head?" it was like how hongseok used to call me. i laughed, because i must have thought too much- even though the voice sounded like him. just when i was about to talk back, he came forward to me and said, "hyunggu-yah, are you okay?" i looked up, and there he was, looking perfectly fine but slightly concerned for his dongsaeng.

just like the first time we met.

i couldn't believe what i've seen. "who are you?" i asked. he laughed, "don't you remember? i'm hongseok, your hyung!" i stood still in awestruck. how could it be? the man i had been thinking about for day and night is now standing in front of me as if nothing had happened. he pulled me aside to talk. "are you okay?" i can see he really is confused.

i smile to him, "a sunflower could never stood upright without the sun, even your sunflower had no exception. now the sun has came back, so the sunflower can stand upright again to chase after his sun." he laughed and said, "i'm sorry kino, trainees are not allowed to use their phones- i can't contact you or any of my friends for two months- my mum should've told them all about this but she doesn't know know about you. did i make you worry? it's okay now, hyung is here. i apologize." "i thought you're dead, so i was crying everyday," i said when running into his arms while his palms ruffled in my hair. the laugh he let out is as pure as the jingle bells, "silly you- i can't die so easily. how can i leave our cute hyunggu here alone?" i punched him and whispered, "you better use your whole life to compensate my lost."

"of course, my dearest sunflower."
maybe he knew he was my sun. my everything. my universe.

i'm sorry but i think kino is a bit out of character ahah- anyways this is the last- maybe not? hmm... i wonder. sorry if there are any spelling mistakes because i didn't care about tenses- WHO CARES-? and sorry for such a lame plot AHAH